OK, since y'all are by the pool today and I'm not, I have been surfing around. I found these and thought they were REALLY funny. Like wet-your-pants funny. Like shoot beer out your nose funny. OK, you get the point.
- I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.
- If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
- Everyday I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I have stayed alive.
- How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
- Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?
- Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?
- I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
- Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?
- My husband says I never listen to him (at least I think that's what he said).
- Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
- Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?
- Wouldn't you know it...Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
- Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when he Ten Commandments cannot be displayed in a federal building?
- Bumper sticker of the year: "If you can read this, thank a teacher....and since it's in English, thank a soldier".
3 comments:
Nudists... we went on a cruise several years ago (remember kim?) and we went to a nude beach (can you guess - it wasn't the girls' idea). This is exactly right - the ones you want to see naked have clothes on and the ones who should never bare their bodies even in a swimsuit are walking around naked. We saw a big fat guy with braids and beads in a place that really shouldn't have braids and beads;)
thanks for making me laugh...again! So is this what it's going to be like tomorrow? Let me know now, so I can stop at Walgreens for some protective undergarments. I can't wait to meet you, or should I say, re-meet you. If we're poolside, we can act 16 and I can bring pics of my brother Bob and I can bring the fancy MGD beer. Oh, I guess we'll have to pretend we're 21 then. (But then again, I was drinking at 16!)
I love the loose fitting clothes and the brain cells comments. My girlfriend Carol also says that tan fat is much better than white fat so let's pray the sun comes out!
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