The Grass Is Not Greener

What do you DO all day?

It must be nice to have so much time on your hands.

I need the stimulation of my career.

Why did you get your degree if you're going to waste it?

Isn't it boring to be at home?

No wife/daughter of mine is going to sit home all day!

Can you do this/go here/buy that/bake this since you're home anyway?

I'm not the type of person who could be a SAHM.

We've all heard them a thousand times. I have been a Stay At Home Mom for 10 years now and I have heard 'em all. We all know the stereotypes of the SAHM who knows the storyline of "Days of Our Lives" and eats chocolates all day. We also know the rosy image of perfectly groomed mom baking cookies while well-adjusted toddlers play with blocks in the perfect family room. Neither one of those happening here.

I don't need to convince people that being a SAHM is hard. Or important. Or fulfilling. I need to convince myself. I think that is why those comments sting us SAHM so hard. We feel like we are always having to prove that we are not lazy or intellectually challenged. Being a SAHM is the ultimate self-starter position. Think about it. If your job. . .

• didn't have a boss
  
• didn't have clear guidelines
• didn't have any hard deadlines
• didn't have a schedule for production
• didn't have a routine that stayed the same for any length of time
• didn't have any specific works hours
• didn't have any breaks
• didn't have fear of discipline from the boss
• AND didn't have a PAYCHECK

. . .would you keep that job very long? Probably not. This is a daily struggle for us SAHMs. To quote my "good friend" Kate Gosselin, mother of 8, "My day is make a meal, serve a meal, clean up a meal. Repeat." Trying to keep a home clean while having small children in it everyday is like straining rice with a tennis racket. I am sometimes so jealous of my girlfriends who have careers outside the home. They get to wear clothes that match and talk to people who know more than 50 words. They get to go to meetings and power lunches and say things like "Expense report." I get to go to Target and spend 45 minutes trying to keep Wyatt from contracting typhoid fever from licking the cart all the while comparing prices on toilet paper.

I do love being a SAHM. Most of the time. Some days. Sort of. I love the freedom I have to plan my week the way I want to. I love the fact that my kids are with me. I get to spend time with friends during the day which my dear dear dear husband likes to remind me when we have the weekly "my life sucks more than yours" fight. Yep, I spent 3 hours at the McDonald's Playland with Kary and her two youngest kids. It was more relaxing than a day at the spa. (Note the sarcasm.) These things I get to do are really like business trips. When you have to go to Florida to call on a client you are working. Even though it's sunny Florida you aren't visiting WDW or laying on the beach. Same with SAHM playdates and such. Prettier scenery but still work.

I'm really not sure the point of this whole post. It's not to convince people that SAHM have value. It's not to complain about how rough my life is. It is certainly not to start a WOTH/SAHM war because that is just dumb. We're all moms and make the best decisions we can. I know I get annoyed when a WOTH mom utters the comments listed so I try my very best not to even have those kind of thoughts about my WOTH mom friends. Honestly, I think we are so critical of moms who do it different because we are so insecure in our decisions. Motherhood is a constant state of second guessing. Is this right for my kid or is that right? We tend to beat down the other choice to make ourselves feel better about our own choices. The other reason we make those comments is pure stupidity. Simple not thinking about how it sounds to a mom on the other side of the proverbial fence. Moms are gifted at reading subtext and often use this power for evil instead of good. When a WOTH mom says "I need the stimulation of my career." she means she likes her career. When a SAHM hears that sentence she hears, "I am superiorly intelligent to you and am simply too evolved to spend my day watching soaps and Dora the Explorer in my PJs b/c that is what you do."

Again, I have no idea the point of this post but face it. The grass is not any greener anywhere else. Except if you live in Florida and have a dog to pee on it. Then you have really green grass and mine is brown for fall.

Meal Plan Monday

With the non-stop fun of the holiday season coming up, I totally need to get organized and stick to a schedule! So in that spirit, I'm jumping back into MPM.

Monday~Bean and Ham Soup
Cornbread

Tuesday~Slow Bake BBQ Chix Thighs
Smashed Garlic Potatoes

Wednesday~Mexican Cornbread
Beans and Rice

Thursday~Chix Tetrazini
Peas

Friday~Mama is G-O-N-E!
Chix and Stuffing x2 for another family

Saturday~Out b/c Daddy is gonna need it!

Sunday~Chicken BLT Loaf w/ Honey Mustard

For lots of great meal ideas or to join MPM, go to Laura's blog!

I Think She's Old Enough to Date

She looks so OLD! Ack.

Barack and Ozzie-BFFs

While y'all know I wasn't exactly thrilled with the outcome of the election, I have found something that Barack will do that I can get on board with!

Check THIS out!

You Say Tomato. . .

Since the elections are over we need something new to fight over. Tim and I have been fighting this battle for years.

COUPON

Is it "Q-PON" or "COO-PON"

Discuss.

The Homecoming Queen

This kid is going to drive me to drink. That sweet angelic face is a cover for a deep naughty streak. Our biggest challenge with Amelia is she's just so stinkin' happy. NOTHING phases her. Take away her toys? No big deal. Take away computer time? Okie dokie. No TV? Ok, Mommy, I'll just read my books. AAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGG!!! Her kindergarten teacher is facing the same issue. A consequence that would send a regular kid into tears doesn't bother Amelia in the least. As Mrs Z wrote on her report card, "Amelia is overwhelmingly perky!" I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not. The worst part for Mrs Z? Amelia is a LEADER! All the kids love her. Girls give her their toys everyday and boys yell out their carpool windows at her. She eats it up. Loves it. She is the Homecoming Queen of 2008.

So all you who knew me back when I was the perfect mom, feel free to yuck it up. I deserve it.

It's Ebay Time!

All my Christmas and winter auctions are up! Finally. Take a peek, bid 'em up, and free shipping for blogging buddies! Boys 0-12 Months and Girls 0-3 up to Size 12 but mostly 3T, 5T, and 9/10.

MY AUCTIONS!

Call Doc Baker. . . Wyatt's Got Small Pox. . .Or Something. . .

The Boy woke up like this today. Doc says she hasn't a clue and to keep an eye on it. Um, OK, great. Is he contagious? Is he having a reaction? Can he trick or treat? Not that I have a costume for him yet or anything. . .

Two Hanky Sunday

I hope you are all sitting down. I have big news that will be a shock those of you who know me well. Hold on to your hats.

I cried in church today. Twice.

OK, I'll give you a sec to catch your breath. I am not a crier. Ever. Most especially in public. I don't even know if I cried at my mom's funeral in front of anyone. It's just not in me but I did it TWICE this morning. For the purpose of bringing a lot of folks up to date and to try to explain the spiritual journey that our family has been on for the past few years, we'll talk about why I cried in church.

We have decided to switch churches. This was not an easy or quick decision though because it was not something we talked about much it may seem that way. For 11 years we have been at Crossroads and it has been home to us. Crossroads is a seeker-driven church that has a heavy emphasis on outreach into the community. They do a great job of bring the news of God's grace to many people who would never set foot in a church. While we loved that part of Crossroads, many other things just didn't seem to be a good fit with our family. Tim and I both grew up in Christian Reformed churches with a heavy (sometimes too heavy!) emphasis on knowledge and "book learning" part of the Christian life. We also spent our jr high and high school years in smaller youth groups where we were able to have relationship with our leaders. Even thought I haven't talked to them in years, I still Greg and Mary Beth among the most influential people in my teen years. We also had the opportunity to participate in such denominational events as the YCF Convention, SWIM, and SERVE. While Crossroads has a great youth program, it does not provide these things that we want for our kids. While we are looking for these things in a kids/youth program, we saw a young man make Profession of Faith this morning. He is currently serving in the US Army and will be deployed to Afghanistan next spring. When he stood up there with the pastor and youth pastor and answered those questions, I cried. More than anything, I want my kids to stand up there and answer those questions and we have decided FOR US a different church is the best way to assist us as parents to lead our kids to that point. Just so you know, this is a personal decision for us, we are not making any statements that Crossroads is wrong or ineffective in their ministry to kids.

So after Profession of Faith we are moving at a rapid clip through the service until we get to the Celebration of Communion. We recited the Apostles Creed. If you need a reminder about how much I love creeds and such, you can read this old post. As we said the creed, I got all sniffly again. Not just because I missed it and love to say it but it was at that moment that I had confirmation from the Holy Spirit that we were doing the right thing. I jsut had that feeling that yes, we made the right decision. It's hard to move on. We have lots of friends at Crossroads and I am afraid we'll lose them. That fear~and a big dose of laziness~kept us at Crossroads for probably longer than we should have stayed. Things are starting to fall into place. The new church is starting a MOPS program and I have already been invited to be involved. We'll see if I'm ready to jump into MOPS again! So we are now where we belong for this time and we're happy.

It's Dangerous to Count Other People's Money

My friend Leenie has an interesting discussion going on her blog about spoiled kids. This started out as a comment there but got a little long winded so I moved it here.

Often in our suburban culture we see who has what and we are all quick to make judgments based on that. While I do not know the pain of being stereotyped based on my race or appearance, people often make judgments about me based on my family. My family owns a profitable and publicly recognized business that bears the family name so I spent a lot of time growing up saying, "Yes, I am related to them." I realized this sounds a little like a "poor little rich girl" pity party but hang with me here! I am forever grateful that my parents were able to provide for my sister, brother and I. We all got the gift of a Christian education all the way through college. We got to travel and experience lots great things. My parents were able to assist my grandparents as they aged.

There is an assumption that if parents spend money on their kids they do not spend time with them or teach them anything valuable. Why is it one or the other? It is possible to be a good parent and have money. People make assumptions about me all the time based on my family's income level and sometimes that is really painful. I did not have things handed to me~with the exception of my college education I worked for things (my Guess jeans, my first car, ect.) just like everyone else. My parents were great parents and taught me all the same things that parents who weren't as well-off taught their kids. Spoiled is a mind set, not a dollar amount. Spoiling kids is teaching them the universe revolves around them. You can do that in lots of ways that do not involve money.

Yes, my kids wear name brand clothes. They have American Girl Dolls. They also do not own a gaming system or battery powered vehicles. They have never been to WDW. It's all relative. There will always be someone who spends $1 less on their kids and will call your kids spoiled. Holding a ruler up to a family and making judgments on how they spend their money is stereotyping. They are lots of well-off parents who are teaching their kids unconditional love and respect just as they are lots of parents who struggle financially and don't teach their kids these things. Judging people based on income or possessions is just as wrong as judging people on any other outside criteria.

My Bad A$$ Baby Boy

Seriously, Wyatt. You are going to need to do better than that for anyone to be afraid of you!

No Veep

Complete bummer. Dick Cheney had an irregular heart rhythm so he couldn't come to Marty's today. We still had a nice lunch and I got to meet a lot of people. VP Cheney called in and did a brief talk about the election on the phone so we did get to hear him. He really has a great sense of humor which kinda a surprised me. He's got such a dry old guy persona.

Thanks for all the advice on what to wear. I did figure it out on my own and did know not to wear jeans even though my dad called early this morning to make sure I didn't wear jeans. I think he was channeling my mother for a minute. I wore a brown skirt, ivory turtleneck sweater, and a tailored denim jacket none of which had baby stains of any sort on them.

Where Are Stacey and Clinton?

I am so geeked! I am going to meet and greet VP Dick Cheney on Wednesday at my cousin's house. Marty Ozinga is running for US Congress and the Veep is coming to support and encourage the troops working to get Marty elected.

What on earth does a SAHM mom wear to this?! Someone told me "business casual". Great. My business casual is a pair of Old Navy yoga pants from 2002 and a pink T shirt with a baby food stain on it. Dressy would be a pair of jeans with a J Crew hoodie. Help.

I Love This Harbor

I love Hilton Head. Seriously. It's my favorite place to go. It's probably genetic because my parents love Hilton Head. They went on their honeymoon there and have been back at least a zillion times since. It's one of those places that has that indescribable "thing" that makes you love it but I will try to tell you a bit about it. If you have ever been there, you know what I mean! Though for me, a lot of the love is nostalgia for my mom. She loved it there and it's the only place that I can still picture her.

This past summer we made our third trip to Hilton Head with Doug and Christine + Kiddos. What a trip! The last time we made this joint family vacation I was pregnant with Greta and Christine was pregnant with Wesley so we were at a bit of a disadvantage! This year was easier and harder. We had bigger kids which meant a trip to the park or the kiddie pool was not going to make them giddy but they were almost all old enough to fend for themselves a lot of the time. We did more splitting up this year than in the past but I think that worked out for the best. Tim and I are more "lay around and do nothing" vacationers and Doug and Christine are more "get out and do stuff" kinda folks. Well, maybe not exactly. Some of that is more a function of how old our kids are and how work-busy our lives back home are. Anyhoo, it worked nice to be able to split up or do things together based on schedules or lack of schedules~particularly Wyatt's naps. The big treat this tiem around was grown-up dinner! We went out for dinner twice without the kids and that was the highlight of the trip for me! We had a great time and love the tradition of doing HHI every summer.

Here's Amelia, Caroline, Emily B, and Greta waiting to Gregg to start singing. One of the best parts of Hilton Head is the fun family things to do. A long-time favorite of the my family is Gregg Russell AKA the Jerk Under the Tree. He's been playing under the Liberty Oak Tree in Harbor Town since 1976. Gregg is another Linda thing. She loved him so much. I remember her sitting at his show singing along with him. He's definitely heavy on the cheese but the more fruity grown up drinks you have, the more fun he is!After the show last summer, me and the kiddos with Gregg Russell.

Here's a shot of Doug and Tim getting ready for another fantabulous part of Hilton Head. A little family tradition we call Happy Hour. We start prepping at about 4:30 with the official start of HH on the screened in upper deck at 5:00. In addition to your choice of cocktail, there is always fresh local shrimp and oysters, cheese and crackers, veggies, and all kinds of other goodies. You could make a full meal out of Happy Hour and we often do!

Just one last shot of me and the girls last Christmas in Harbor Town. We love to go down to Carolina for Christmas. It's warmer than the Midwest and has great shopping!

What to Blog About

I want to blog about the presidential campaigns. But I won't. I want to blog about my family's spiritual journey. But I won't. I want to celebrate a Sox division win. But I can't. I want to blog about how cute my kids are. But that's annoying to everyone except me. I want to blog about how difficult one of kids is right now. But I won't.

I got nothin.

The Recipe Box

I have a shoe box FULL of sauce-stained 3x5 cards dating back to the 80's when I first started my recipe collection. I have tried lots and lots and lots of different ways to store them and they just end up in a box under my desk. Since I have beccome blog-savvy, I have started a recipe blog to store them and add my own comments/memories to each one. My problem is that I totally forget about it and forget to add them. So my goal is to add one recipe per day til Halloween and I need you all to keep me accountable.

So go check out my recipes and add your own comments. Just click HERE!

Married?

I heard this stat on the radio today.

Among MARRIED women McCain is up 11%

Among SINGLE women Obama is up 14%

Why such a big difference? Discuss.

Selfish Soapboxing

Let me get up and preach for a sec here. I kinda feel bad doing it but hey . . .it's my blog. :-)

Please for the love of Pete, be an informed voter. Don't vote for McCain b/c Dr Dobson told you to. Don't vote for Obama b/c Oprah told you to. Obama is a gifted speaker and has lots of energy to bring to the office. Don't vote for him because of that. McCain is a admirable patriot and war hero. Don't vote for him because of that. Don't pick your candidate based of what your parents or grandparents have always done. Don't cast your vote b/c some mom at your kids' school heard that their neighbor's best friend's cousin's mailman got an email that said Obama doesn't say the pledge of allegience. Don't cast your vote based on the 30 second sound-byte you heard of Whoopi Goldberg on The View talking about going back to slavery if McCain is elected.

Above all, READ. Go to each candidate's website and read. Ask yourself this question. "What is the fundamental role of gov't in our society?"

Off my soapbox now. Go Bears.

One Pitch Away From Jumping

Me and my BFF at our first Sox game together.

As we watch the Sox do their traditional fall fall-apart, we have lots of chances to get our hopes up only to have the come crashing down. I have no illusion that we were going to repeat 05, but it would have been nice to win the division, make the the playoffs and maybe go out in 5 games to LAA. Alas, it shall not be cuz we just suck.

We did have a great time at the game with Ben and Kary last night. Pretty sad night when your Pick To Click is Dewayne Wise AKA at our house as "Dewayne Wayne". . . .and he wasn't even drunk.

Kary and hubby Ben thought we were negative fans. Nope. Just realistic. Well, Paulie DOES hit into a lot of DPs! Speaking of Paulie. . .I was expecting to wake up this morning and hear that he had blown out his ACL and his career was over. The guy rolled around and cried like a little girl. Dude, it's a sprain. Butch up or go to the NL.

With a Rebel Yell. . .

I did something spontaneous and stupid today. I took my baby boy for a haircut. It WAS getting long and girly looking~not cool long but scraggly long. So I took him in to some butcher who made him look like an infant version of Billy Idol. AFTER this was all done, I remember that I have not taken him for his one year pics yet. AAHHH!

Here he is before the massacre~happy and smiling.

And here is my poor shorn baby. He really does have about an inch of hair left but it's so blond you can't even see it.

He's like a smiling sweet baby Billy Idol. I am the worst mommy ever.