SAHM I Am . . . .Or Not

I'm having one of those days. I have had thousands of them since I began my stint as a Stay At Home mom in 1998. I feel like a dog chasing its tail. I have a mountain of work to get to and all I can muster the energy to do is hold Greta on the couch with her Tupperware Barf Bowl. I do laundry. I make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I clean up gobs of toothpaste. I build Lego trucks. I untangle American Girl hair. And so on. I'm OK with all of that. It comes with the territory of the choice I made to stay home. My frustration lies in the fact that I seem to be the only mom who doesn't love her stay at home mom-ness ALL THE TIME. Or at least according to Facebook every other SAHM thinks they have the greatest job in the world and loves spending every waking and non-waking moment with their kids. Are all these moms lying or am I truly the only one who gets sick of being a human kleenex all day? I chose to stay home because I thought it was important to be the one with my kids. I wanted to make the choices for how they spent their time. Problem is I am the one to blame for how their spend their time. . .is there any defense for "Yo Gabba Gabba"?

I can't even complete the thought right now. Someone is screaming and I can't ignore it anymore.

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

Our school came down with a new rule this week aimed at the middle school kids.

Any use of the words "stupid" or "shut up" will result in a demerit.

Any use, regardless of context or intent. Any use. Am I the only one here who thinks this is STUPID?! We already have a rule about being disrespectful. Be the adult, use your discretion, and enforce it when appropriate. Don't need to start making a list of words. "Stupid" can be used appropriately or inappropriately, just like hundreds of other words in the English language. If your goal is to stop 11-13 yr olds from being smart mouthed, saying "Don't say THIS word" is the wrong way to go about it. You better believe they spent the whole day yesterday saying stupid and shut up as much as possible. Rules without brains behind them are a recipe for rebellion. Kids act out when rules make no sense.

We have an awesome group of kids in our little middle school. They are smart, funny, friendly, well behaved and respectful. I coach the cheerleaders so I spend a lot of time with these girls plus the girls and boys from the basketball teams. All good kids. A little rowdy and immature? Absolutely. They are supposed to be rowdy and immature. They are IN MIDDLE SCHOOL! This is 2010 and if our biggest problem is kids calling stuff and each other stupid, we got it pretty good! Or well? Good? Whatever.

My Before Post

Why is it so hard? I mean seriously. Eat less food, move more. How freakin' hard is that? Very hard. I (heart) food. I love to cook it. I love to smell it. I love to eat it. I particularly love to eat it when everyone else is not bugging me. It's my treat that I look forward to all day long. My sister says our family's mealtime conversations focus around when and what we are going to eat next. That is so wrong.

January 2002 I was at an all-time high weight and an all time low. My mom was in the middle of her losing battle with cancer. Tim and I had been trying to have a baby for over 3 years. We finally gave up and started to pursue adoption. We were really excited about it. I decided that since I wasn't going to be preggers I was going to be skinny. I went to Weight Watchers and over 10 months I lost 30 pounds. I felt amazing and looked better than I did in college. Somewhere in mid-October 2002 I found out I was pregnant. Holy cow. How did THAT happen?!? Well, I know how it happens. . . . I was 2 pounds from my goal weight. Amelia was born June 2003, Greta was born January 2005 and Wyatt showed up July 2007. I never got back to where I was in October 2002.

Why can't I get there? I have gained and lost the same 10 pounds a zillion times since then. I have a million excuses but no valid reasons. I'm not one of those "never take care of myself" moms. I have no trouble getting away for a few hours to shop and EAT. I just can't seem to stick to it. Why? If I knew the answer, I probably wouldn't be fat. I want to be that cute thin athletic mom who does things with her kids. I want to wear cute clothes~it's hard enough to find stuff that doesn't make me look like either a teen or a grandma!

So here's my before picture. This is for me to look at every time I want to eat. Every time I want to skip my run. Every time I think I don't look so bad.

Random Randomness

Unemployment blows. Nothing much else to even say about it. Tim is home. ALL. DAY. EVERY. DAY. He's at the computer or on the phone all day long but it's pretty hard to keep it from sounding like the Nick Jr soundstage in the background. Wyatt is so colossally bored. I feel for the kid. He goes outside to play in the snow and that lasts about 10 minutes. He plays Legos and trucks. That lasts another 15 minutes. So that leaves Wyatt and I 11 hours to keep ourselves busy. When the girls were this age, I could get stuff done. They loved to "help" do housework. Wyatt sees a pile of clean laundry as a opportunity to throw things. He sees bathroom cleaner as a tasty snack. He sees a vaccum as a ride-on toy. He is so BOY. Sigh.

On another note, Caroline is having a fantastic time with cheerleading. I've been helping coach her squad and that's been a lot of fun. The girls are a riot and I'm trying really hard to be an appropriate role model. (Snort. . .)

Same Post As Every Other Blogger Today

It's that time of year. . . .everyone feels compelled to a New Years Resolutions. I am a realist. I always slide back to my old ways by Jan 19 so I'm not a big fan of the tradition. Funny thing is I do it every year. This year I will lose 30 pounds, save $10,000, clean my house every day, read my Bible more, play with my kids more, exercise, blah blah blah blah. I looked back in my old journals a noticed that the ONE year I actually DID lose 30 pounds and spend more time reading my Bible was the year I wrote down my resolutions in my journal. Things that make you go mmmmmmm. . . .

So here you have it.

1. Lose 25 lbs. I am done having babies and have no reason to be carrying around extra weight. It is unhealthy in so many ways not the least of which it increases my risk for breast cancer. I also feel yucky. I gained 4 pounds since T-giving and my jeans are tight. I hate that.

2. Read my Bible more. I go in spurts. I do my stuy for small group but usually not a whole lot more. Looking back in my journal I had a phase where I was copying certain verses and letting those guide my prayers. Need to get back to that.

3. Organize the toys. I don't think my kids have a ton of toys. The neighborhood children have asked me where all the toys are hidden so they don't think my kids have enough toys! They are big fans of things with lots of pieces though. Legos, puzzles, Polly Pockets, Little People. I need a better system to organize them because when the playroom is not a mess, they actually PLAY there!

4. Tim needs to find a job. Yesterday. In the South.

5. Stick to a schedule. I was the schedule nazi when my kids were babies but now that Wyatt is out of the baby phase I am not. I miss that predictablity.

So here's to 2010. What's your plan?

Merry Christmas

Nothing much to say but here's a few snapshots of Christmas.




Me with Greta and my teeny new niece, Meredith.


Wyatt looking old enough to get move out and take a wife.




Christmas 2009 will officially be recorded as the Holiday of the Legos.



Caroline with my niece Joanna. Caroline truly believes Joanna is the coolest person on the face of the planet.

It's Christmas. . . .We're All Miserable

I wanted to write a wonderful and insightful post about the joy of the holidays and family and friends and peace and love and blah blah blah. It kept sounding exactly wrong. This post is from last Christmas and it bears repeating. So without further ado I give you my thoughts on Christmas. . .

I used to love Christmas. I loved it so much that fifteen years ago I got married at Christmas! I loved the lights and the music and the hustle and bustle and the food and the drink and the food and the drink and the fa la la la la la la la. . .but somewhere between there and here I got lost. Here I sit at 30-ish-something and I am wishing it was January. How wrong it that? Very wrong. Somehow in my mom-life the entire holiday season has become a never-ending chore list. Buy this, bake that (or buy this to make it look like I baked that). Go to festive parties with sassy-mouthed girls and a boy who feels compelled to put his grimy paws on every object lower than 36 inches. Keep everyone happy all the time! And don't forget matching! Everyone must match! (OK, that's my own neurosis, but a girl is entitled to one or two.) I want the joy back. I want the peace on earth. I want to not insert cuss words in the middle of fa la la la la la. I don't want my kids to remember Grumpy Mommy at Christmas. They are all destined for therapy anyway but maybe they can at least say, "Mama screwed me up somethin' BAD but Christmas shure was good!"

I have been thinking and stewing and praying and stewing and praying and stewing about this since Halloween. For me to get where I need to be this holiday season, I need to be specific and intentional. So here are my "Holiday Resolutions"

1. I am going to venture into the store I really really dislike~Family Christian Stores~and find a new advent devotional. Then I will order it from Amazon. :-)

2. I am not going to second guess my shopping. When I find a gift for someone, it is done. No rehashing to make sure it's perfect, "fair" to others on my list, wondering incessantly if they will like it, ect. I will follow lists and suggestions but I will not drive myself nuts.

3. I will let my kids be kids. Yes, they will need to follow the rules and not play football with Nana's pretties or Grandma's 785 teeny weeny ceramic things but they are kids. At least at Christmas, they need to play with their cousins and have fun.

4. I will watch "Elf" and "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation" at least 3 times each.

5. I will not try to be Paula Deen because no one really likes my cooking anyway. I will only cook elaborate dishes for myself or for fun. When asked to bring an appetizer, I will bring something I have made before and that is easy, cheap, and quick. I don't need to search everything the Neelys have ever made to find the "perfect" recipe. It doesn't exist.

6. I will try ONCE to get a Christmas card photo. If I can't get it in one afternoon, I will reuse the same one from last year. Only Wyatt has really changed anyway.

7. I will Christmas shop with my BFF late on weeknights. The mall is open til 10:00pm and Chili's in open til 11:00.

8. I will burn CDs of Christmas music I actually like instead of listening to the same 8 songs over and over on 93.9. While I'm at it, I will make a peaceful worshipful, CD and some fun ones too.

9. I will bake for the neighbors and invite them all to church. Again. Maybe the holiday season will make the "no thanks" turn into a "we'd love to."

So there is my concrete plan to reclaim the holiday joy for myself! Fa lalalalalalala. . . .

Reason #358 Why Wyatt Will Need Therapy

When you have 3 big sisters, you end up with pink snowman sheets.

He's not so good at the Big Boy Bed yet. Every night he cries "Wyatt no big boy! Wyatt's bed!" And here is "Wyatt's bed"~in the wood pile.

Why You Won't Be Receiving a Chirstmas Card

Caroline is telling everyone to shut up and Wyatt is unwilling to give up the pipe.

Amelia looks good here.
If Mom had a clue how to use her camera, this one could have worked. Perhaps.

At least Gracie looks cute.

Evidently, Amelia has issues.

Wyatt is done.

This was about as good as it got.

FRIDAY FIVE

FIVE BEST THINGS ABOUT THANKSGIVING
1. Stuffing~the bread kind with sausage and celery
2. Red wine with turkey
3. Football
4. A turkey sat on a backyard fence song
5. Being thankful

FIVE BEST TRADITIONAL CHRISTMAS CAROLS
1. Hark, the Herald Angels Sing
2. Joy the the World
3. Away in a Manager~as sung by Wyatt
4. Carol of the Bells
5. O Come All Ye Faithful~in Latin

FIVE REASONS WHY I AM GOING TO RETURN TO BLOGGING
1. The novelty of Facebook has worn off
2. Too many people read what I write on FB
3. I have a lot to say
4. I wish I hadn't quit
5. Pretty new templates now available for free!

Summer is almost over. . .

. . . and what do I have to show for it?

• a deep empathy for Kate and a desire to see Jon neutered
• the knowledge that PayLow is NOT the lowest priced supermarket in South Lake County
• a pre-teen who thinks she can sleep til noon
• a toddler who thinks he can swim
• the knowledge that the government requires Tim to randomly drug test himself~is that really random?
• the disappointment in never seeing a White Sox win in the Twinkie~dome.
• pasty white skin without a hint of a tan
• a working knowledge of "fins to the left"
• a whole bunch of new friends
• the loss of my patience
• the return of my true blond hair
• a hole in my summer where Hilton Head should have been
• an appreciation for Yo Gabba Gabba
• 15 hours lost to helping Jillian find Mr Right

FRIDAY FIVE

The Friday Five is BACK! I know you were missing it. . .

FIVE BEST WINES THAT I HAVE DRUNK . . .DRANK. . .DRINKED
1. The Monster Red Zin
2. Cakebread Chardonnay
3. Houge Reisling
4. Zen of Zin
5. Ravenswood ICON

FIVE THINGS I WOULD DO WITH $1,000,000
1. Buy new carpet
2. Pay CPCS tuition
3. Buy a Honda Odessey
4. Move out of this "lovely" area
5. Hire a nanny so I could take naps

FIVE JOBS I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE
1. Restaurant owner/chef
2. L&D nurse
3. White Sox sportscaster
4. Buyer/designer for Gap and Gymboree
5. Princess

Hi, My Name is Jen and I'm Addicted to Facebook

I have a new addiction. I tend to be an addictive personality. . .luckily I was a good kid in college! I adore Facebook and the part I love the most is reconnecting with people from way back when I was cool. (I frequently remind my daughters that their mom was like totally awesome.) I was one of those girls who really meant it when I signed KIT your yearbook. It bums me out that I spent all of the 80's with the same group of people and yet I only regularly talk to one of them. Even if some of them were more Farmer Ted than Jake Ryan, I love shared history. The years I spent in high school and college made me the adorably screwed up individual that I am today. We had a mini-high school reunion last winter with 23 girls from my high school class and it was the most fun I have had since the last time I watched "Can't Buy Me Love" six times in a row. We weren't all BFFs back in the day but we sure had a great time remembering the fun of high school.


Facebook is the fab technology that made that cool nite happen! FB also has given our generation a gift like none before us. It has given us the tools to go back in time. To rectify wrongs. Clear up confusion. Mend fences. No one before us has been able to do that without a significant amount of effort. That's a tool with a lot of potential for good and evil. Catching up with old friends and even old flames can stir up things that maybe should have been left dormant. Or it can show us that the guy we pined for really isn't all that perfect and the one we married is all that perfect. The BFF from high school can be thrilled to re-establish the friendship or she can be aloof and leave us feeling rejected all over again. The girl we barely knew in middle school now has kids exactly the same age as yours and you suddenly have tons in common. It's like going back to school but with a shuffled deck. Could be good. Could be bad. Could be both. Use it wisely.

Maybe we'll see the return of the ABC Afterschool Special about Facebook! Or maybe a very special episode of "Blossom" which projects Joey in 2009 FB-ing an old girlfriend while his wife Sixx gets mad. I would so TiVo that.

Not a Kate Hater

This past week has been a firestorm of controversy about the TLC show "Jon and Kate Plus 8". Did Jon cheat? Did Kate? Is Kate a crazy bitch who deserves whatever she gets? Are they exploiting their kids? I can't answer any of those questions because I don't know them. That seems to be the point that so many people keep forgetting. You don't know someone because you have watched a highly edited and manipulated 30 minute sound byte of their "life". We don't know that Jon is a partying playboy. We don't know if Kate is a raving lunatic. TLC takes the footage and makes it into an "entertaining" show that will generate ratings. Happy parents with lots of cute kids = BORING. Train wreck fed by the tabloids = sky high ratings for TLC. I have heard people suggest that TLC pull the plug and cancel the show because that would be good for the kids. TLC has a cash cow in this show and will not cancel without a major drop in ratings. Everyone seems to want Kate to drop the show and stay home. My guess is that is not an option. She has a contract for her book and contract for the show. I bet she is legally bound by terms to travel and promote.

What amazes me the most is other moms who are so quick to slam Kate. There are absolutely moments on the show where Kate speaks very rudely to her husband and others. I am guilty of the same thing. If you edited together my worst moments in the course of a week and left out any positive moments including any apologies for my worst moments, I'd look like a loon. I just don't get why moms have to tear other moms down. Are we all so perfect that we are in a position to cast stones at a woman we don't even know? We all have our own way of doing things that work for our families and mothering styles. No, Kate is not perfect and yes, she has chosen to put herself out there for scrutiny but that doesn't mean we know her in her private moments. TLC shows us Kate yelling at Jon but how do we know once they were in private she didn't say, "I'm sorry I lost my cool today." I'm not saying she did but we don't know that she didn't. TLC created the "characters" of Jon and Kate~Jon is the lovable husband who puts up with Kate the OCD nasty wife. They edit together clips as they want us to see them.

And yes, Shawnie was right. Nothing like controversy to get me back to blogging!

Spring Break~Not Just for Drunk College Students

The kiddos were on Spring Break this week and let's just say I wish I was a drunk college student. The week would have been easier. It was a LONG week. School breaks are always so much harder than summer. In the summertime we establish a routine and new rules. They can go outside to play. This week, the weather has been crap and we have pretty much been locked up in the house. I don't get moms who love school vacations. They are so hard for me mostly because of the lack of routine. All four of my kids~especially the spirited kindergartener~thrive on schedule. No schedule=chaos.

OK, now that I'm done complaining, I will share our one fun day out this week. We took a road trip to Indy to the famous Children's Museum with a stop in Lafayette to visit the famous burger stop~Triple X. We are huge fans of the Food Network show "Diners, Drive Ins, and Dives" with Guy Fieri and have grand plans to do a trip across the Midwest to visit all the places he has profiled. The Triple X is the closest to us so we started there. It was worth the trip even though it was counter only and my girls acted like tourists yelling and pointing at the pics on the wall, "Look Mom! It's the guy from TV!!!"

The Super Wy has recently mastered the word "PLEASE!" and the use of a straw so he drank everyone's root beer.

Greta is not usually a burger fan but she scarfed her half.

Caroline would eat fried dirt on a stick if she saw it on the Food Network. She was thrilled to be there and ate one the burgers that the menu highlighted "As Seen on the Food Network!"

Amelia has never met a burger she didn't love especially with lettuce, tomato, and onion. She snarfed down an entire adult burger.

Stay tuned for picture from the museum and some great shots of the clouds on the way home!

Matilda Jane

I Miss Blogging

I really do. I have been blogging for 3 full years now and I love to write. It seems like a frivolous pursuit when I have things to do like feeding kids, running a trucking company, doing laundry, sleeping, ect. I feel like I have run out of things to say. Or at least things acceptable for public viewing!

So what should I blog about? Any thoughts?

Oooo! I'm a Guest Poster!

Clair over at Mummy Deals graciously hosted my guest post today. So fun to blog on someone else's blog~especially someone as cool as Clair. :-) She always has awesome ideas for deals and links for great stuff. Check her out. Maybe under her mentoring I will actually master the whole CVS thing that so confuses me!

Menu Plan Monday

Monday~Bacon Cobb Pitas, Chips

Tuesday~Honey Mustard Pork, Veggies

Wednesday~Chicken Chili Cheese Cups, Zucchini

Thursday~Cheeseburger Hoagies, Veggie Sticks

Friday~30 Hour Famine

Saturday~Out?

Sunday~JOY Group

I Do Take Sugar, Thanks for Asking

I am so freakin' excited. Beyond excited. I actually jumped up and down while brushing my teeth this morning when Eric and Kathy made the next big concert announcement. Two of my 3 most favoritest hair-tastic bands and touring TOGETHER and they are coming to town. July 17. . .

Wait for it. . . .
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Def Leppard!!!!!!
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POISON!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh. My. Aqua Net. I can hardly hold in my joy. Back in the day I was not allowed to attend any concert that didn't end in an alter call. Since I'm pretty sure neither Joe Elliot or Brett Michaels does an alter call in concert, I would not have been allowed to attend. Now as a very old woman, I get to go and hold up my cell phone to "Every Rose Has It's Thorn". Now I just need to lose enough weight between now and July to fit into my snake skin skirt and Forenza t-shirts. Maybe Brett will take me on the Rock of Love bus.