I Have Not Fallen in a Hole

I will blog again . . . . . . I promise. To tide you over, here's a discussion starter.

All middle schoolers are or will soon being sexually active. If you disagree, you are naive.

Some one said that to me. Discuss.

Mommy! We're POOR!

The theme at my girls' school this year is "Simply Serve". All year long they do different things to serve God, each other, and the community. This week is Service Week with today being all-day service projects. The little kids are doing things like bringing school supplies to send to schools in developing countries and collecting kids books for Peyton Manning Children's Hospital. Amelia's class was supposed to bring canned goods the local food pantry. Well, I was just handed the crumpled up note from the teacher about it this morning.

Amelia, why did you wait til now to give me this note? We need to get some things together for the food pantry!

Amelia's response?

No, Mommy. The food pantry in for families whose Mom and Dad lost their jobs. Dad lost his job so I get to bring some of the food home for us!

I better check her backpack today for pirated canned peas.

So he loves the mall, he'll make a great husband

Poor Wyatt. It occurred to me that even though Mama is busy building our new nest, he might prefer to do something other than unpack boxes while wearing the same PJs 3 days in a row. So yesterday I took him to the a mall with a nice playarea and food court. We had a nice lunch date and learned that all moms of small ones run out of the play area at 1:30. You'd think Gap Kids was giving away stuff. The perk of that was I did not have to apologize to one mom after Wyatt bonked her sweet baby upside the head! As we were pulling into the mall, my only son says,

"Oh mall! I have missed you! Where did you disappear to? I so happy, Mommy. Thank you!"

Because Everyone Else is Talking About It

I used to be a huge American Idol fan. Those of you who know me well know that I'm a rocker chick. I love good LOUD guitar-driven rock music . . .even more if it is sung and played but a rather attractive guy. Enter my propensity for Idol rocker crushes.

First, there was Constantine. He was so not my type at all but I loved him. He was all swarthy and dark. Loved him.


And then there was Chris Daughtry. I still love him. He is still one of my favorite artists.



Two seasons ago I watched out of habit. The early auditions were just an excuse to make fun of people. Simon Cowell, while I often agreed with his opinions, was a pompous jackhole. Paula Abdul drove me nuts. Enter Adam Lambert. He drove me up and down a wall. Everyone lauded him as "a true artist". Why? Because he grabbed his crotch a lot and tried so hard to be the male Lady Gaga? I gave up on American Idol. Did not watch one episode last season.

This year I have jumped back on the band wagon. I really like Steven Tyler and J-Lo is considerably less annoying than I guessed she would be. Randy and his "yo dog" stuff is still annoying but I can overlook it. The biggest difference I see is this season is about the actual singers. Yeah, they showed some of the train wrecks but for the most part, it was good singers who are getting a chance. Steven and J-Lo worked hard to not be cruel.

So cheers to a kinder, gentler American Idol! So far, I'm liking a few . . .

Marisa, the girl from Kosovo
Ronny, the kid that was in a wheelchair
Jacee, the kid who sang "Dock of the Bay"
Travis, the kid from the Bronx
Devyn, the singing waitress
Rebecca, the girl with lips like Steven Tyler

I'm sure there are more but for me, some of the fun it trying to guess from the early auditions who will make the live show. So c'mon over and join me on the couch for a fun year of Idol!

Amelia's Interpretation of Having a Dream

We're excited to have a 3 day weekend this week in honor of Dr MLK. We never had the day off up north but down here in Indy. It kinda bugs me b/c I'm pretty sure Dr King's dream did not include children sitting in front of bad TV instead of in the hallowed halls of learning but hey . . . we'll take it. Amelia at least understands the gravity of Dr King's legacy.

Amelia, please tell us about Martin Luther King.

Amelia says . . . . . .

"He worked hard so that black people would have silver rights. That means they can use drinking fountains and restaurants. He gave speeches about singing. I like singing. I'm going to be a singer when I grow up. Then it was really sad because some guy names James didn't want anyone to have silver rights so he shooted Dr. King in Memphis where my cousins live. It happened in April when a shot rang out in the Memphis sky like that song Mommy likes. My teacher is so old that she was alive when Martin Lutter King was shot! That's old. Like when the people walked on the moon, she was alive then. Can you even believe it?"

And a little child shall lead them . . . . .

FRIDAY FIVE

FIVE BEST "90210" EPISODES
1. The one where Emily Valentine takes everyone to the rave.
2. The one where Emily Valentine sets the homecoming float on fire.
3. The one where Donna and David hook up at the Winter Dance.
4. The one where everyone chants "Donna Martin Graduates!"
5. The one where they have the senior breakfast with all the memories.

FIVE GYMBOREE LINES EVER
1. Whale Watching
2. Leaping Lily Pads
3. Home on the Range
4. Autumn Harvest
5. Cherry Pie

FIVE BEST OMELET FILLINGS
1. Bacon
2. Onions
3. Spinach
4. Chicken
5. Bacon

So I'm a Bit Disorganized

OK, so yeah. When I said 8:00 pm EST on Wed, I really meant 7:30am EST on Thursday. Yeah, that's it . . . . I was acting! I also completely forgot that Wednesday night was Caroline's science fair at school AND Bunco AND wine date with Lori to watch Obama. So needless to say, Greta pulled a name this AM . . . . . . and the winner is

Traci N . . . . whoo hooo!

Traci . . . . love her. Traci has done three wonderful things for me in my life thus far.

1. She and her lovely husband Dave bought our house after it had been on the market of 26 months.

2. She introduced me and hooked me on Vera Bradley.

3. She introduced me to April down here in Indy which then got the ball rolling to meet more friends!

So I'll drop them in the mail soon. Thanks, Trac.

The Post Where I Attempt to Do a Cool Giveaway

It is winter and it is SNOWING! One thing I love about my new house is my fireplace. Now I can finally curl up with a good book in front of the fire. . . the fake gas-log fire, but a fire nonetheless. Winter is also a time for decluttering and new beginnings. I am re-starting this whole blog business. Somewhere in the past year or two, Facebook took over as my social media outlet of choice (My stepbrother would be so proud of that sentence!) I like FB because I can share my riveting point of view in one witty statement. Blogging takes so much more time. (Insert whiny voice here) You have to think and actually use semi-correct grammar. Entirely too much work. I have been reading over my blog entries from a few years back and I like them enough to start putting the effort into bloggyland again.

To kick off my rebirth into the blogosphere and to kick off my 784th try at decluttering my home, I'm going to do a giveaway! Cue the dancing bears and happy music. I love Emily Giffin's books. If you have never read her books, do so immediately. Like right now. To be a part of the fun, leave a comment and suggest a book or author for me to try out. I'm always searching for new stuff!! Tomorrow, Jan 12, at 8:00 pm EST (cuz that's the time zone I'm in now . . . and it sucks.) I will have Greta draw a name out of a hat. The winner gets Emily Giffin's first two books. These are my copies that I'm passing on to you. They are in excellent shape but not brand new. Read them, enjoy them, and pass them on.

FRIDAY FIVE

FIVE THINGS I LOVE ABOUT INDY
1. Shopping
2. Malls
3. Chick-Fil-A
4. the weather
5. How close everything is!

FIVE THINGS I HATE ABOUT INDY
1. The Colts
2. Colts fans
3. Colts jerseys
4. Colts t-shirts
5. The TV weather people. I miss Tommy Skillhead.

FIVE THINGS I MISS ABOUT NWI
1. My girlfriends
2. My neighbors
3. CPCS
4. Tommy Skilling
5. Dutch people

FIVE THINGS I DO NOT MISS ABOUT NWI
1. Cedar-tucky
2. Southlake mall
3. Traffic by the mall
4. Lake Co public library
4. Dutch people

Fly Lady is Dumb

It's a new year! So what does that mean? It means get organized! Stop snorting. It could happen. In my continuous quest to justify my SAHM-ness, I have been obsessively reading blogs this week. I'm searching for new routines. New file folders. New pretty smelling candles. New shampoo. Anything to change me into a mom fit for the pages of the Pottery Barn. After scouring the World Wide Web, I have come to one conclusion. The World Wide Web is full of NUTJOBS? Where do these women live? What do they slip into their children's nighttime glass o' water? Some lady tells me to make my bed as soon as my feet hit the floor. If I did that, there would be at least 2 children, a dog, and Tim's work clothes in it. I don't even know my left from my right when I first wake up. Who is going to be in my bedroom the makes it necessary to make the bed? Another tells me to gather my children for morning prayer time. I can't gather my children to eat candy together without flailing. Another tells me to unload the dishwasher within the first 5 minutes. Why? So you can load it on Minute 6? Yet another gives me a "First Five Minutes" list that says

1. Make bed.
2. Open shades.
3. Start load of laundry.
4. Unload dishwasher.
5. Take shower.

Seriously? Why would I open the shades BEFORE showering? So the neighbors can watch? My list would be more along the lines of

1. Tell Amelia to stop poking me. I know my alarm has been going off for 20 minutes.
2. Run to the bathroom like a new potty trained toddler.
3. Jump on Caroline's bed for 5 minutes until she falls out of it.
4. Brush my teeth and then realize I used Tim's toothbrush. Ew.
5. Fall asleep on the bathroom floor.

I really do want to be organized. Just not but whack-a-dos. I'll start by alphabetizing my liquor cabinet. That will make every morning go more smoothly.

Can You Keep A Secret?

So we're in that post-holiday hangover period. The Christmas decorations are half down, the laundry is half done, the house is half messy, and The Husband is all the way sick. Dying, if you ask him. He's planning the funeral. What I don't want to tell him is that due to my mad medical web-surfing skills I have diagnosed him with salmonella. He has every single symptom but the key is duration. Most run-of-the-mill stomach bugs only last 24-48 hours. The Husband is going on Day 6.

So let's all take a bloggy oath and NOT tell The Husband that he has salmonella. If he finds out, he'll start asking people to be his pall bearers.

K-LOVE and Chick-Fil-A Part I

So I now live in Indianapolis. Wow. You may be wondering how that came to pass. I am too. Seriously. It completely feels like the last season of "Dallas". I keep looking for Bobby Ewing every time I get out of the shower. So just like on "Dallas", to understand the end we need to start at the beginning.

1994 was a good year. America was emerging from the debacle the was grunge and the gang from the Peach Pit was starting their freshman year at CU. I was enduring/enjoying my first year as a Mrs. We were living on bologna and frozen pizzas with hot date nights of Taco Bell and Euchre. I was trapped in a real-life episode of "Say Yes to the Dress" as I sold wedding gowns to bratty brides all week long. The Husband was a recent college graduate with a Criminal Justice degree burning a hole in his pocket. He was working as a bouncer security guard at a few different bars while applying for a position with Fulton County PD in Atlanta, GA. The Husband lived in Atlanta for 8 years and was itchin' to get back to Dixie. I had seen "North and South" enough times to know that I wasn't sure I wanted to be a Yankee in the South but I was game for anything that included a paycheck. They were hiring 25 officers and after 11 months of interviews and tests to make sure he wasn't crazy, they had it narrowed down to 35 people and The Husband was still in the mix. I was practicing my Y'alls and I was fixin' to get rid of my winter coat. We went house hunting. We were ready to Say NO to Michigan and start flyin' the rebel flag. Then the bottom fell out. The Husband was one of the 10 people who didn't get offered a position. The official reason from the hiring board was that he was not local and they gave preference to local applicants. So on that very sad day in June 1995, all of our dreams of sweet tea and fried chicken went up in smoke and left us wondering why and what next?

A Vow and Some Pics

I really do plan to blog more. Every week I tell mysef that I will blog. I promise myself grand things like Chick-Fil-A or Starbucks if I write 3 blog posts per week. Yeah, I still go to Chick-Fil-A I just don't blog. So here's my early New Years Resolution~I will blog 3 times per week. Stop rolling your eyes. It could happen.

On a completely different note, I have new pictures of the kidlets. I have a new friend, Ellen, here in Indy and she takes pictures. Really good pictures! I wish I knew how to take pictures. I somehow inherited my mother's faulty photography gene. She was the one who took a famous family photo of my sibs and dad and I in front the of US Capitol building. It was a beautiful fall day in 1984 and the sun was shining on the Reagan administration. My mother cut off the top of the capitol's dome but she got lots and lots of the exposed aggregate sidewalk. I take those same pics!Here's some great shots from Ellen. . . .the real photog!

I love this shot because they are actually walking towards me instead of running away.

This is so artsy-fartsy and cute.

This my poor Caroline's life. Hang onto your brother!

Numbering Our Days

Do you ever try to figure out God? Look back on events and smack yourself with Romans 8:28? Try to take bumps in the road as "signs from God"? Try to put God in a box so that your own life makes sense? Yep. I'm guilty. The past 12 months have been about as rocky as can be and in my quest to make sense of it all, I have tried over and over to, well, make sense of it all. Every bit of bad news was because something better was coming. Every twist in the road had a purpose. We have been residents of Indianapolis for a whole 6 days and it appears that we've finally hit the end of the long and winding road but I keep asking "Why?" I keep trying to make the whole thing fit into a nice plan. I tell myself that God caused one thing to happen so that the "right" thing would happen. Is that true? My Calvinistic self bumps up against the concept of free will directing our paths. Yes, God is in control. Nice theological truth but how does that look in the messy reality of life? Do I choose Chick-Fil-A or McDonalds? Watch 20/20 or Dateline? Chocolate or vanilla? Keep job in Illinois or take a new one in Indy? I don't know the answers to those questions. The Bible tells me that God knows us by name and cares about the sparrows so even more cares about us, the crown of his creation. So as I look back over the last year with its ups and downs and mostly downs, it is the only true comfort to know that even though I can't wrap my brain around it, God does order our days. Maybe not our fast food choices, but definitely our days.

Don't You. . . .Forget About Me

Remember the cool '80's tune "Don't Know What Ya Got Til It's Gone"? Well, even if you don't, pretend because it's critical to this post. I had my 20th high school reunion this past weekend. I went to a small high school with only 78 kids in my entire class. We went to school together from kindy up through high school so we literally grew up together. After all those years, I was so sick of looking at the same 77 faces. I could not wait to get the heck outta there. I was looking forward to our reunion but I got smacked upside the head by something. Not sure if it was regret? Sadness? A wish to go back? I had a sudden urge to run back to CCHS and shake the students while screaming "CARPE DIEM!" We had such great friends but we were too young and dumb to realize what a gift it was.
Here is my 3 best friends and I at prom. Keep the comments about our horrible dresses and white nylons to yourself. It was the JJCC~Jenny, Jenni, Crissie, and Christy.


Here we are 20 years later with a much better sense of style! We have tried to keep in touch but we are not nearly as close as we once were. That makes me so sad. I spent the evening talking to people that I have known since I was a toddler and I found that I miss that! We spent so much time in conversations that started with someone yelling "Remember that time that we . . . ." and we would scream in laughter and the spouses would try to look like they cared.
I also attended the 10 yr reunion and I don't remember thinking this way. It was fun and it was nice to see everyone but this reunion hit me hard. Maybe it's a midlife crisis? Maybe it's because not a whole lot changes in ten years but twenty is really a long time. I don't know the answer to my questions. I don't know if there is an answer. I do know those 77 people will always hold a place in my heart. I'll share some of my favorite shots of the night and go to contemplate these big questions!

Here is Darren. We were buddies and rivals from kindergarten til graduation. In the end, I won. I graduated number 12, Darren was number 13. He left for college in Arizona and never came back. I had been so bummed that he didn't come to the 10 year so I was so excited to see him. Mike J and Cardio Bob. The two class clowns and all-around great guys. They both look almost exactly the same as high school!

Jenny and Nikki~Two popular cheerleader-types. Love 'em both!
The two preggos! Julie and Cristin were both expecting and looked adorable.
So to the Class of 1990, we rock.

Kids In School = More TV Time for Mommy

So, yeah. They went back to school. I'm thrilled to have peace. Or quiet. Well, at least I have time for "Bachelor Pad" and "Teen Mom". . .all the important stuff.

I Want My MTV

I'm a proud member of the MTV generation. I remember when they played videos all day long. I watched "Remote Control". I permed my hair just like Nina Blackwood and firmly believed that it was Martha Quinn in the "Centerfold" video. (It wasn't.) Then MTV got dumb. Stupid reality shows and lots of flannel ruled in the 90's. Now MTV has made a comeback. Or at least in my little realm of reality.

There are two shows currently running that are truly well-made TV. Seriously. Like should be required viewing for all middle schoolers. Now I know that in my little Christian school world this in not a popular opinion. Heck, I'd probably lose my cheer coaching gig if some parents knew I would encourage their kids to watch (gasp) MTV. "16 and Pregnant" and it's spawn "Teen Mom" are intelligent and realistic without being so over-the-top, scared straight. We watch these girls struggle with the reality of teen parenthood from the pain of watching your friends go off to college without you to the daily reality of bills and colic. I have been on the receiving end of those looks that say "You are an awful mother" when I mention that I allow my daughter to watch such trash. I have watched every episode with Caroline and it has brought up all kinds of discussions. I am under no illusion that my daughters are immune to pre-marital sex and the risks that go with sexual activity. Yes, we teach them abstinence. Yes, they go to a Christian school. Do Christian school kids have sex? Um, yeah. I will use everything in my parental arsenal to help them make the right choices.

Today I watched a new show in MTV's line up. "If You Really Knew Me" focuses on cliques and stereotypes that are predominate in high school. We all remember the cool kids, the nerds, the jocks, the artsy types, the band geeks. I'm looking forward to watching this one with Caroline also. I want to encourage my kids to be who they are, not who they are expected to be by some crazy stereotypes or some box they got put in in fourth grade.

So band with me watch MTV with your kids!

THIS is what I do all day

So what do you do ALL DAY LONG? I have been asked this question no less that a zillion times. Ya really wanna know? I'll tell you.

4:12 am - 4:44am Listen to thunder and husband cursing thunder.

5:08 am Husband's alarm goes off. Thank you, Jesus. Now I can get some sleep!

7:26am Amelia peeks in my face. "Mommy! Are you awake?" I am now.

7:30-8:15 Shower and other incidentals.

8:15-8:40 Welcome three more children to spend the day and chat with said children's mother about the large Uzbekistan-shaped welt on my thigh.

8:40-8:45 Inhale cold leftovers from dinner for breakfast.

8:45-9:00 Become distracted by an old episode of MTV's "Juvies" because my friend Lloyd is the attorney. Cool.

9:00-11:00 Take two children to the Urgent Care to check out said welt. Feel like a statistic without health insurance. Try not to scratch. Answer a thousand questions about what this is. And what that is. And why that lady is so fat.

11:00-12:00 Browse Target while waiting for script to treat said welt. Dodge Dutch people. Duck behind giant Back to School display to scratch.

12:15-1:30 Feed leftover children, change a diaper, throw in a load of laundry, unload and re-load the dishwasher.

1:30-1:54 Eat my own lunch while watching the last episode of MTV's "16 and Pregnant" Poor Kailyn. Her mom's a . . . .not nice lady. Man, I love that show.

2:00-3:00 Clean up kitchen. Return reluctant paci-less boy to his room. Repeat. Pick up family room. Return boy to room. Sing "Jesus Loves Me" which was NOT what he wanted. Evidently, he prefers "Jesus Twinkle Star". Not sure of the lyrics to that.

3:00-3:42 Clean up kitchen. Again. Hand out popsicles. Hand out juice. Tell the children for the 89th time today. "NO standing by the neighbor's pool while looking hot and pathetic." Sing "Twinkle Star Jesus" Chase the dog down the street. Free boy from his room. Clip 30 toe nails and 30 finger nails.

3:45 Give up and blog.

4:00-4:19 Unload dishwasher. Make dinner.

4:30-Bedtime. Cradle a fifth of vodka.

Griswolds Go To Fireworks

So as it turns out, we have a lot in common with the Griswolds. Last night we decided to take the kids to the beach for a late afternoon swim, picnic dinner, sand dune running, and some cute pics. As we are driving into the Indiana Dunes National Park, we notice an awful lot of evening beach goers. Seriously. Who goes to the beach at 6:00pm? Well, as the clueless as the Griswolds, we stumbled upon Fourth of July fireworks on the lakeshore. Turned out to be the funnest evening of the summer. The weather was great and the kids had the best time ever. They had never been to Lake Michigan beaches and were in love.

Happy smiling sandy children.

Caroline and I with the ever-useful self portrait.

This was my attempt at artsy fartsy. I am an awful photog. Someday I'll learn. . .

Caroline is almost 12. Wow. How did that happen?

Amelia just turned 7 and is sporting a toothless, grin. I LOVE toothless kids.

Greta is 5~"just plain 5, not 5 1/2 yet". She loves to have a camera pointed at her!

Wyatt is almost 3 and nowhere near diaper-free. Oh well. He's still cute as a speckled pig.

The reasons for my gray hair. Cute, ain't they?

And she's gone. . . .

Imagine "Friends" by Michael W Smith playing in the background while you read this post. If you were a good church kid in the 80's, it will evoke exactly the right feel.

If we are lucky, we get some great friends to fill our lives and finish our sentences. In the beginning you get the kids of your parents' friends. Once you enter the wonderful world of school, you get to make your own friends. If you are lucky, these girls carry all the way thru to adulthood and beyond. I have 3 girls in my life that kinda represent each phase. Christine and I have been friends since third grade when she made me watch every episode of "Barbara Mandrell and the Mandrell Sisters." We don't see each other much but the history is there. Kathy was my roomie in college. She knows what I am going to say before I say it. She lives in Texas~way to far away! I miss her and want her to transfer to a base closer to me. Soon.

My adult-life BFF is Kary and she has left me. Minne-freakin'-sota. She's gone. We were a perfect match from the start. We were both brand new moms and I needed someone to boss around and she needed someone to boss her around. Worked out great. As we both grew up, we found a balance. I am hyper-scheduled. Kary does not own a calendar. She does however own 30 drums and random handmade musical instruments. She thinks the greatest song ever is Suzanne Vega's atrocity called "Tom's Diner" I think anything by Def Leppard or Warrant is worthy of music worship. She loves lentils. I would know a lentil if it hit me upside the head. Her perfect man sports dreadlocks and makes him own pants. My perfect man drives a BMW and is featured in "Forbes" for selling thousands of pairs of khaki pants. We really have very little in common which is why we are perfect for each other. She has the most important quality in a BFF. She likes me as I am. She doesn't preach at me. Or try to fix me. Or tell me that I'm not entitled to my feelings. Miranda the Waitress at Don Pablos will probably call me in a few weeks and ask where we have been. Kary and I used to go out for food and bonding at least twice per month. We were mistaken for a lesbian couple at Chili's once. How am I going to live without her? Woe is me. . . . I think Kim and Jana will need to give some lessons.