One of the greatest things about being a mom of school-age kids is that you get to do the New Year's Resolution thing 3 times. For me, the start of a new school year is about as blank slate as you can get. So here I sit starting 180 days in the face and trying to re-vamp yet again. What do I want to do this fall? How do I want things to go? What are my goals? Why do I think in Dr Phil's voice? I have literally lost sleep trying to organize my thoughts and plans. I struggled with answering the questions "What do I want our family to be like? How do I get there? What is standing in the way that can be altered?" Here's what Dr Phil's voice said.
1. I want our home to be warm and peaceful. Not necessarily quiet but peaceful.
2. I want our house to be organized and have routines that are well-run.
3. I want our marriage to be strong and to work with our personalities and not try to be the couple we are not.
4. I want our kids to love being at home and want to bring their friends here.
5. I want to parent my kids not just react to them.
So now that I figured out what I want I needed to figure out how to get there and what was blocking it. I have come to this stunning conclusion. I have too much on my plate. Many are great and wonderful things. Church things. Things other moms can easily do without disruption to their families. Things I enjoy. These are things that are keeping me from being the mom I want to be. One example? Feeding these people. I love to cook and nutrition is a passion of mine. (As is double cheeseburgers but that's another post!) I rarely cook a big meal b/c I am so busy doing A, B or C that I'm too tired or we get home just in time to throw a pizza in the oven. Some things can't budge. Tim's work schedule has no flexibility. The kids have to go to school. So what goes? Everything else that I don't love. That leaves Ebay and Bible study. I love doing Ebay. It provides me a "thing" that is all my own and lets me shop! It also covers a big chunk of our tuition so Ebay will continue! My Tuesday Bible study at church is also great. I love the study and time with grown-ups. Everything else? Gone. I need to be at home. Period. I can not accomplish the goals I want by doing 700 other things at once. While driving.
So as we start this new school year I have to be prepared to say "No." "I'm sorry, but now isn't a good time for me." "Thanks for thinking of me, but I really have to pass." While I understand lots of other moms can do 700 things at once and do them well, I can't. I'm done trying.
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