Here's a neato shot of our neighbor's back yard. No, there was not a terrible storm or vandals. That, ladies and gentlemen, is normal. They started to assemble a new picnic table, got bored, and left it there. For 9 days. This was a stroke of genius on their part. They didn't need to pick up any of the paper or cardboard from their new purchase~I did. Out of my shrubs, trees, and window wells.
Now moving to Exhibit B. Look closely at this shot. See the windchimes as big as your leg?! Observe the stunning Bug Zapper powered by a sunny yellow extension cord. Pretty, eh? So that brings me to the Q 'o the Day. How do you ask someone you've spoken to twice to remove the windchimes that wake the dead? Before you answer, you need to know that Mrs Redneck was seen screaming obscenities at the ATT guy last week in the backyard. In a muu muu. With curlers.
Seriously, I love bein' a Hoosier and all, but I am trapped in a Jeff Foxworthy special. Help.
I love to read. I could sit in my comfy chair~not to be confused with the comfy couch~and read til I have to get up and pee. I read fiction, non-fiction, "Christian" (I hate the term Christian fiction but heck, we'll use it here.), "secular" (again, bad term), the phone book, old yearbooks, and magazines of all shapes and sizes. Oh, and the church directory. Ya never know if it changed since the last time I looked up a number. So becuse I am deluded enough to think you care, here's a small list of some of my favorite reads from the last few years or so. Feel free to add your opinions and your own titles. Just no laughing at some of them. I run the gamute from cheesy to philosophical. Some I will list by series because it is easier. And it's my blog. I can do what I want. So here is my list of books I have read a zillion times and will read again soon.
The Red River of the North Series by Lauraine Snelling This would fall into the "Christian fiction" catagory but I do love historical fiction. This is set on the Dakota prairies of 1880s. The main character does way more in her day than I do in a month. I always want to get up and plow a field or milk a cow after reading these. Great family saga that isn't too nicey-nice.
The Love Comes Softly Series by Janette Oke (some one PUH-LEEZE tell me is it "oak" or "oakie"!) Also falls into the "Christian fiction" and lands squarely in incredibly nicey-nice. But I still love it. Such a sweet story.
Redemption Series by Karen Kingsbury Great story. A bit over-written but I did get attached to characters and wanted to see how it worked out. Kingsbury is a gifted story-teller but not so much a great writer.
Dancing in the Dark by Big Bill Romonowski and Friends Changed my life. Or at least my major. Love him. Love his book.
Redeeming TV by Quintein Schultze Can I get an AMEN from all my siblings here? Will change the way you view TV completely. I am also TOTALLY showing my age as this was his NEW books when I was there.
Eve's Daughters by Lynn Austin All of Lynn's books are great but this one is still my fave. You can tell just by reading this book that Lynn is a Calvinist! :-) I get really tired of characters in "Christian fiction" that are very one-dimensional. "Good girl goes to church, doesn't touch alcohol, never has any sin, ever. Bad boy is very, very bad. Dances to rock music, reads Harry Potter books, swears, and even has GASP non-Christian friends!" Lynn's characters are not perfect. They are real flawed people with a grasp of total depravity but no clue about grace until it whacks them upside the head. This was the first book I ever actually read in one day.
Goodnight Nobody by Jennifer Wiener Great fun read about a bored SAHM who tries to figure out who murdered her neighbor.
Can You Keep A Secret? by Sophie Kinsella Also a fun read about a women who has too much to drink and ends up telling her life story to a handsome stranger seated next to her on a trans Atlantic flight. Turns out he's her new boss. Goes on from there. . .
Sophie's Heart by Lori Wick Pure Velveeta. But hey, why not a little cheese with that glass of wine. . .
Yep, Amelia got her ears pierced. She loves them so much~it's all she talks about. It was kinda a spur of the moment thing. I was at the mall with the girls on Saturday and we went to Claires to get some new earrings for Caroline. The poor thing has been wearing the same pair since July because somehow we lost her earring box in the move. Anyway, Caroline says "Amelia, do you want to get your ears pierced?" Well, duh?!? She's all over that idea. I tell her it's going to hurt and she says "It not hurt. I not cry." So we did it. As we were sitting there getting set up I said to Caroline, "Daddy's gonna kill me" Amelia then got upset and said "No Mommy! Daddy not dead you!" Oops. Guess she knows what kill means! I called Tim on the way home.
"Hi hon. How's your camping trip?"
"Good. What's up?"
"Well, would you be upset if I got Amelia's ears piereced?"
"As long as I don't have to clean them, I don't care."
"Good. Cuz I already did it."
"That's what I figured."
Ah, he knows me so well. I have always been very conflicted about the whole earrings on little girls thing. It started with my dad who said only biker chics had earrings. Huh? I wasn't allowed til I was 12. I swore no daughter of mine would either. The funny thing is I always thought they were cute on little girls~esp them bald baby girls~like Greta! But somehow I didn't think that applied to my kids. They would look trashy. Hey, I never claimed to make sense. When Caroline was 4 we got her hair cut pretty short. I looked super cute but to soften it a bit, we got her ears pierced. After the alloted time we took out the started set and she would not let me put new ones in. Said it hurt. Okie dokie. No more earrings. Then when we were in Hilton Head with Dr and Mrs Beautiful and family, Christine and I decided to get Emily and Caroline's ears pierced. And Doug and Tim's too, but that's a story for a different day. After the intial hoopla, I never even noticed. So I guess that's why I broke down and did Amelia's. I realized it was not nearly the big deal I made it in my head. As most of my life is.
I'm a 30-ish wife to Tim and mom to 3 girls~Caroline 12, Amelia 7, and Greta 6 PLUS little monster boy~Wyatt. I try to live my life as I would want to see it played back in a Lifetime movie. . . with Jennie Garth playing the role of me. I offend an average 3.6 people per day. I'm trying to cut back.