Tuesday, November 30, 2010

K-LOVE and Chick-Fil-A Part I

So I now live in Indianapolis. Wow. You may be wondering how that came to pass. I am too. Seriously. It completely feels like the last season of "Dallas". I keep looking for Bobby Ewing every time I get out of the shower. So just like on "Dallas", to understand the end we need to start at the beginning.

1994 was a good year. America was emerging from the debacle the was grunge and the gang from the Peach Pit was starting their freshman year at CU. I was enduring/enjoying my first year as a Mrs. We were living on bologna and frozen pizzas with hot date nights of Taco Bell and Euchre. I was trapped in a real-life episode of "Say Yes to the Dress" as I sold wedding gowns to bratty brides all week long. The Husband was a recent college graduate with a Criminal Justice degree burning a hole in his pocket. He was working as a bouncer security guard at a few different bars while applying for a position with Fulton County PD in Atlanta, GA. The Husband lived in Atlanta for 8 years and was itchin' to get back to Dixie. I had seen "North and South" enough times to know that I wasn't sure I wanted to be a Yankee in the South but I was game for anything that included a paycheck. They were hiring 25 officers and after 11 months of interviews and tests to make sure he wasn't crazy, they had it narrowed down to 35 people and The Husband was still in the mix. I was practicing my Y'alls and I was fixin' to get rid of my winter coat. We went house hunting. We were ready to Say NO to Michigan and start flyin' the rebel flag. Then the bottom fell out. The Husband was one of the 10 people who didn't get offered a position. The official reason from the hiring board was that he was not local and they gave preference to local applicants. So on that very sad day in June 1995, all of our dreams of sweet tea and fried chicken went up in smoke and left us wondering why and what next?

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

A Vow and Some Pics

I really do plan to blog more. Every week I tell mysef that I will blog. I promise myself grand things like Chick-Fil-A or Starbucks if I write 3 blog posts per week. Yeah, I still go to Chick-Fil-A I just don't blog. So here's my early New Years Resolution~I will blog 3 times per week. Stop rolling your eyes. It could happen.

On a completely different note, I have new pictures of the kidlets. I have a new friend, Ellen, here in Indy and she takes pictures. Really good pictures! I wish I knew how to take pictures. I somehow inherited my mother's faulty photography gene. She was the one who took a famous family photo of my sibs and dad and I in front the of US Capitol building. It was a beautiful fall day in 1984 and the sun was shining on the Reagan administration. My mother cut off the top of the capitol's dome but she got lots and lots of the exposed aggregate sidewalk. I take those same pics!Here's some great shots from Ellen. . . .the real photog!

I love this shot because they are actually walking towards me instead of running away.

This is so artsy-fartsy and cute.

This my poor Caroline's life. Hang onto your brother!

Thursday, October 07, 2010

Numbering Our Days

Do you ever try to figure out God? Look back on events and smack yourself with Romans 8:28? Try to take bumps in the road as "signs from God"? Try to put God in a box so that your own life makes sense? Yep. I'm guilty. The past 12 months have been about as rocky as can be and in my quest to make sense of it all, I have tried over and over to, well, make sense of it all. Every bit of bad news was because something better was coming. Every twist in the road had a purpose. We have been residents of Indianapolis for a whole 6 days and it appears that we've finally hit the end of the long and winding road but I keep asking "Why?" I keep trying to make the whole thing fit into a nice plan. I tell myself that God caused one thing to happen so that the "right" thing would happen. Is that true? My Calvinistic self bumps up against the concept of free will directing our paths. Yes, God is in control. Nice theological truth but how does that look in the messy reality of life? Do I choose Chick-Fil-A or McDonalds? Watch 20/20 or Dateline? Chocolate or vanilla? Keep job in Illinois or take a new one in Indy? I don't know the answers to those questions. The Bible tells me that God knows us by name and cares about the sparrows so even more cares about us, the crown of his creation. So as I look back over the last year with its ups and downs and mostly downs, it is the only true comfort to know that even though I can't wrap my brain around it, God does order our days. Maybe not our fast food choices, but definitely our days.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Don't You. . . .Forget About Me

Remember the cool '80's tune "Don't Know What Ya Got Til It's Gone"? Well, even if you don't, pretend because it's critical to this post. I had my 20th high school reunion this past weekend. I went to a small high school with only 78 kids in my entire class. We went to school together from kindy up through high school so we literally grew up together. After all those years, I was so sick of looking at the same 77 faces. I could not wait to get the heck outta there. I was looking forward to our reunion but I got smacked upside the head by something. Not sure if it was regret? Sadness? A wish to go back? I had a sudden urge to run back to CCHS and shake the students while screaming "CARPE DIEM!" We had such great friends but we were too young and dumb to realize what a gift it was.
Here is my 3 best friends and I at prom. Keep the comments about our horrible dresses and white nylons to yourself. It was the JJCC~Jenny, Jenni, Crissie, and Christy.

Here we are 20 years later with a much better sense of style! We have tried to keep in touch but we are not nearly as close as we once were. That makes me so sad. I spent the evening talking to people that I have known since I was a toddler and I found that I miss that! We spent so much time in conversations that started with someone yelling "Remember that time that we . . . ." and we would scream in laughter and the spouses would try to look like they cared.
I also attended the 10 yr reunion and I don't remember thinking this way. It was fun and it was nice to see everyone but this reunion hit me hard. Maybe it's a midlife crisis? Maybe it's because not a whole lot changes in ten years but twenty is really a long time. I don't know the answer to my questions. I don't know if there is an answer. I do know those 77 people will always hold a place in my heart. I'll share some of my favorite shots of the night and go to contemplate these big questions!

Here is Darren. We were buddies and rivals from kindergarten til graduation. In the end, I won. I graduated number 12, Darren was number 13. He left for college in Arizona and never came back. I had been so bummed that he didn't come to the 10 year so I was so excited to see him. Mike J and Cardio Bob. The two class clowns and all-around great guys. They both look almost exactly the same as high school!
Jenny and Nikki~Two popular cheerleader-types. Love 'em both!
The two preggos! Julie and Cristin were both expecting and looked adorable.
So to the Class of 1990, we rock.

Tuesday, September 07, 2010

Kids In School = More TV Time for Mommy

So, yeah. They went back to school. I'm thrilled to have peace. Or quiet. Well, at least I have time for "Bachelor Pad" and "Teen Mom". . .all the important stuff.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

I Want My MTV

I'm a proud member of the MTV generation. I remember when they played videos all day long. I watched "Remote Control". I permed my hair just like Nina Blackwood and firmly believed that it was Martha Quinn in the "Centerfold" video. (It wasn't.) Then MTV got dumb. Stupid reality shows and lots of flannel ruled in the 90's. Now MTV has made a comeback. Or at least in my little realm of reality.

There are two shows currently running that are truly well-made TV. Seriously. Like should be required viewing for all middle schoolers. Now I know that in my little Christian school world this in not a popular opinion. Heck, I'd probably lose my cheer coaching gig if some parents knew I would encourage their kids to watch (gasp) MTV. "16 and Pregnant" and it's spawn "Teen Mom" are intelligent and realistic without being so over-the-top, scared straight. We watch these girls struggle with the reality of teen parenthood from the pain of watching your friends go off to college without you to the daily reality of bills and colic. I have been on the receiving end of those looks that say "You are an awful mother" when I mention that I allow my daughter to watch such trash. I have watched every episode with Caroline and it has brought up all kinds of discussions. I am under no illusion that my daughters are immune to pre-marital sex and the risks that go with sexual activity. Yes, we teach them abstinence. Yes, they go to a Christian school. Do Christian school kids have sex? Um, yeah. I will use everything in my parental arsenal to help them make the right choices.

Today I watched a new show in MTV's line up. "If You Really Knew Me" focuses on cliques and stereotypes that are predominate in high school. We all remember the cool kids, the nerds, the jocks, the artsy types, the band geeks. I'm looking forward to watching this one with Caroline also. I want to encourage my kids to be who they are, not who they are expected to be by some crazy stereotypes or some box they got put in in fourth grade.

So band with me watch MTV with your kids!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

THIS is what I do all day

So what do you do ALL DAY LONG? I have been asked this question no less that a zillion times. Ya really wanna know? I'll tell you.

4:12 am - 4:44am Listen to thunder and husband cursing thunder.

5:08 am Husband's alarm goes off. Thank you, Jesus. Now I can get some sleep!

7:26am Amelia peeks in my face. "Mommy! Are you awake?" I am now.

7:30-8:15 Shower and other incidentals.

8:15-8:40 Welcome three more children to spend the day and chat with said children's mother about the large Uzbekistan-shaped welt on my thigh.

8:40-8:45 Inhale cold leftovers from dinner for breakfast.

8:45-9:00 Become distracted by an old episode of MTV's "Juvies" because my friend Lloyd is the attorney. Cool.

9:00-11:00 Take two children to the Urgent Care to check out said welt. Feel like a statistic without health insurance. Try not to scratch. Answer a thousand questions about what this is. And what that is. And why that lady is so fat.

11:00-12:00 Browse Target while waiting for script to treat said welt. Dodge Dutch people. Duck behind giant Back to School display to scratch.

12:15-1:30 Feed leftover children, change a diaper, throw in a load of laundry, unload and re-load the dishwasher.

1:30-1:54 Eat my own lunch while watching the last episode of MTV's "16 and Pregnant" Poor Kailyn. Her mom's a . . . .not nice lady. Man, I love that show.

2:00-3:00 Clean up kitchen. Return reluctant paci-less boy to his room. Repeat. Pick up family room. Return boy to room. Sing "Jesus Loves Me" which was NOT what he wanted. Evidently, he prefers "Jesus Twinkle Star". Not sure of the lyrics to that.

3:00-3:42 Clean up kitchen. Again. Hand out popsicles. Hand out juice. Tell the children for the 89th time today. "NO standing by the neighbor's pool while looking hot and pathetic." Sing "Twinkle Star Jesus" Chase the dog down the street. Free boy from his room. Clip 30 toe nails and 30 finger nails.

3:45 Give up and blog.

4:00-4:19 Unload dishwasher. Make dinner.

4:30-Bedtime. Cradle a fifth of vodka.

Saturday, July 03, 2010

Griswolds Go To Fireworks

So as it turns out, we have a lot in common with the Griswolds. Last night we decided to take the kids to the beach for a late afternoon swim, picnic dinner, sand dune running, and some cute pics. As we are driving into the Indiana Dunes National Park, we notice an awful lot of evening beach goers. Seriously. Who goes to the beach at 6:00pm? Well, as the clueless as the Griswolds, we stumbled upon Fourth of July fireworks on the lakeshore. Turned out to be the funnest evening of the summer. The weather was great and the kids had the best time ever. They had never been to Lake Michigan beaches and were in love.

Happy smiling sandy children.

Caroline and I with the ever-useful self portrait.

This was my attempt at artsy fartsy. I am an awful photog. Someday I'll learn. . .

Caroline is almost 12. Wow. How did that happen?

Amelia just turned 7 and is sporting a toothless, grin. I LOVE toothless kids.

Greta is 5~"just plain 5, not 5 1/2 yet". She loves to have a camera pointed at her!

Wyatt is almost 3 and nowhere near diaper-free. Oh well. He's still cute as a speckled pig.

The reasons for my gray hair. Cute, ain't they?

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

And she's gone. . . .

Imagine "Friends" by Michael W Smith playing in the background while you read this post. If you were a good church kid in the 80's, it will evoke exactly the right feel.

If we are lucky, we get some great friends to fill our lives and finish our sentences. In the beginning you get the kids of your parents' friends. Once you enter the wonderful world of school, you get to make your own friends. If you are lucky, these girls carry all the way thru to adulthood and beyond. I have 3 girls in my life that kinda represent each phase. Christine and I have been friends since third grade when she made me watch every episode of "Barbara Mandrell and the Mandrell Sisters." We don't see each other much but the history is there. Kathy was my roomie in college. She knows what I am going to say before I say it. She lives in Texas~way to far away! I miss her and want her to transfer to a base closer to me. Soon.

My adult-life BFF is Kary and she has left me. Minne-freakin'-sota. She's gone. We were a perfect match from the start. We were both brand new moms and I needed someone to boss around and she needed someone to boss her around. Worked out great. As we both grew up, we found a balance. I am hyper-scheduled. Kary does not own a calendar. She does however own 30 drums and random handmade musical instruments. She thinks the greatest song ever is Suzanne Vega's atrocity called "Tom's Diner" I think anything by Def Leppard or Warrant is worthy of music worship. She loves lentils. I would know a lentil if it hit me upside the head. Her perfect man sports dreadlocks and makes him own pants. My perfect man drives a BMW and is featured in "Forbes" for selling thousands of pairs of khaki pants. We really have very little in common which is why we are perfect for each other. She has the most important quality in a BFF. She likes me as I am. She doesn't preach at me. Or try to fix me. Or tell me that I'm not entitled to my feelings. Miranda the Waitress at Don Pablos will probably call me in a few weeks and ask where we have been. Kary and I used to go out for food and bonding at least twice per month. We were mistaken for a lesbian couple at Chili's once. How am I going to live without her? Woe is me. . . . I think Kim and Jana will need to give some lessons.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Summer Lovin'

I have a love/hate relationship with summer. After a cold and gray Midwestern winter, I love to ditch the over-bundled look. I love to go grocery shopping without pushing my cart through a layer of sludge. I love to not have to wear make-up to avoid the pasty white girl look. I love not getting everyone up and out the door by 7:30. I love not having to wash lunch boxes every night.

I hate being hot and sweaty. I hate chasing wayward children three different directions. I hate breaking up 372 cat fights per day. Most of all, I hate being the only entertainment source other than the Fresh Beat Band.

I don't dislike my kids. . . .well, most days. I don't hate being a SAHM. I think what alot of what I actually hate, is the loss of privacy and quiet time. I need my space and peace to maintain some sense of equilibrium. I need to be able to complete a thought, a meal, or even a trip to the loo without 46 questions. I think that is part of why I have started running. It's is my own little world. . .only I'm hot and sweaty and there are no cocktails there.

Friday, May 21, 2010


Five Best Albums Ever
1. Joshua Tree-U2
2. Hysteria~Def Leppard
3. Ropin' in the Wind~Garth Brooks
4. Jesus Freak~DC Talk
5. Pet Sounds~Beach Boys

Five Best Shows On TV Now
1. Modern Family
2. The Middle
3. Anything featuring Bret Michaels
4. Flash Forward
5. 24

Five Best Things About School Being Done
1. No more making lunches
2. No getting up at 6:00
3. No more driving to school
4. No more phone calls from teachers
5. No more homework

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Elephants and Donkeys

I am a political gal. My heart skips a beat just thinking about yard signs. I spent hours in college knocking on doors for different candidates. Yes, I am a conservative. Yes, I prefer the Republicans over the Democrats. HOWEVER, let me clarify a few points and because this is a political post I get to use bullet points! Woo hoo!

  • I do not hate Barack Obama. I find the Facebook "joke" about praying for his death rather annoying. Pres Obama seems to be a good guy with a true conviction that his policies and ideas are right for the American people. I admire that in a guy especially after the Clinton years which seemed to be more about power and sex than serving the American people.
  • I do not love all Republicans. Lots of them are big . . . .doo doo heads.
  • I am frustrated by the church's political division. Some churches openly campaign for candidates on both sides and I don't agree with that. I don't recall Jesus declaring a political affiliation.
  • Faith and politics are not independent of each other. Many people take Jesus's command to serve the poor as a reason to vote Dem. Others take the belief in the sanctity of life as a reason to vote Rep.
  • I love a good discussion with a liberal who has a well thought out point of view. I can respect that and even agree with some of their points. However, I can not take a discussion with someone who votes Dem b/c Daddy was in the union or because of race or because Oprah said too.
  • The flip side of that point is please respect me a thinking person who is not an intolerant racist war monger.
  • Know about your candidates. Many people know more about Yo Gabba Gabba or Tiger Wood's sex life than they do about who is running for school board or county council in their own district.
The polling place would have been way cooler with an open bar. Maybe free cocktails after you vote!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Following the Crowd to Vodka

I was too good for her. I eschewed her blog as too commercial. Too fancy-schmancy. I tend to not read the books everyone else is raving about. I hate the hit songs everyone loves. I never see the movies that are all the buzz. I just can't follow the crowd. Even when the crowd is right. I finally broke down last night and followed the crowd. Instead of leading me straight to hell, the crowd led me to a beautiful plate of pasta drenched in vodka. Yep. VODKA. How could that be a bad thing? You tell me. Or on second thought . . . please don't.

People, I give you Pasta all Vodka from Ree Drummond aka The Pioneer Woman.


I am now a devoted member of The Pioneer Woman's cult. This is the best freakin' pasta dish I have ever made. We were licking the skillet. Literally. You would have thought I had raw brownie batter in there.

So now that I have caved, I am obsessed. Kinda goes with my personality. I'm really not a half-way kinda girl. I'm all in. Now I gotta go buy more vodka. Again, not a bad thing.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Crack Would Be Healthier

I would have made a fantabulous meth addict. I have never been a smoker but I have lots of friends who describe to me the feeling of sweet joy upon the first drag. I have felt that feeling. That moment of pure bliss when every tension leaves your body as a new chemical surges through your blood. What is my drug of choice?

Chips/Fries by burgesg.

Those hot salty sticks of fried potato goodness. I gave up french fries for lent and let me tell you it was the definition of sacrifice for me. I can plan my entire day around getting some fries. Now I need to give them up before I have to start shopping at Catherine's.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

The Corner of I'm Right and You're Wrong

Choosing school for your kids is complicated business. So many factors go into the decision and so many people have something to say about your decision. When Caroline started school she was our only kid and our trucking business was going pretty well. The cost of Christian school wasn't an issue and we glibly considered it the "best" school choice. As we navigate a new reality which includes the possibility of public schools, I am learning how truly judgmental parents can be. There are plenty of right/wrong issues in parenting but school choice is not one of them. God calls each family to a different path. Some families are called to homeschool. This is a huge committment, even more of a lifestyle choice than a way of educating your kids. Many parents are called to send their kids to Christian schools. I also believe that God calls certain families to be in the public school system. Several years ago, I wouldn't have said that. I didn't really think God would call you to send your kids "there" (said with the proper amount of disdain in my voice) My BFF has been fighting sending her kids to the public schools for years. They have homeschooled and sent them to a small Christian school. She made a brilliant comment the other day.

"We have been praying for God to provide (financially) for _______ Christian School for years and the money hasn't been there. Maybe we need to open our eyes to the idea that God has a plan and a purpose for our kids in the public school."

Brilliant. Often in the Christian school enviroment I grew up and am presently involved in as parent, has a superiority complex. Then again, I know some homeschoolers with the same idea. And some public schoolers. So no one has a corner on the "I'm better than you" market. Christian school parents tend to throw around Christian school-ese phrase "Trust God to provide" This is generally uttered by people who never have had a financial struggle. I'm not talking about the "I can't afford to go to WDW this year" struggle but true "I lost my job and am worried about foreclosure" financial struggle. This statement loosely translates to "If you never go out to eat, only shop at Goodwill, do not have cable TV or internet access, and only drive one car, you can go to Christian schools." Which translates to "If you lived how I say you should, you could afford it."

I'll say it again. God has a different plan for each family. One plan is not superior than the other. God is not absent from the public schools. He does not only go where invited. He is sovereign and that includes the public schools. Do I love my local Christian school? Absolutely. My girls have learned so much and have had some amazing teachers influence them. Am I a little freaked at the option of public schools? Um, yeah.

Jeremiah 29:11 says "'For I know the plans I have for you' declares the Lord 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future'" Notice that verse does not include the condition "If you go to Christian schools."

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Go Vikings! Eeww.

I have always dreamed that one day my daughters would love what I loved in middle school~cheerleading! So far, so good. Caroline walks around the house doing cheers and would wear her cheer uniform every day. This week the ICHS (boo!) cheerleaders invited the middle school girls to come stunt with them. Caroline is a flyer and boy did she get to fly! They put her up in a full and even tried to do a liberty. The ICHS girls were really sweet and helped my middle school squad learn how to stunt. They can't wait until next fall to really work on it all! Caroline is bummed that she probably will never be a Viking. I'm OK with that.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

The Family Meal . . . and other great pieces of fiction

ME~C'mon guys, dinner's ready.

RANDOM CHILDREN WHO CALL ME MOM~What are we having? YUCK! She touched me/breathed on me/broke my toy/hit me/kicked me/won't share! WYATT NO! Why do we always have chicken/beef/venison? Why can't we have hot dogs/peanut butter/pizza? I HATE this. How many bites do I have to eat to have a snack?

I love to cook. I love to try new recipes or just mess around in the kitchen until I find something I like. We have all read the studies and know that kids who eat at the family dinner table do better at everything from preschool entrance exams to nursing home longevity. Our church culture puts extra pressure on us to not only produce a healthy meal (well, at least one with meat and 3 sides with Velveeta in them!) but also have family devotions. These little nuggets of time where we impart great spiritual truths to our offspring. What "they" fail to mention is that these wonderful benefits of the family dinner come at the cost of a big fat ulcer for Mommy. Is a 2 1/2 year old even capable of sitting for more than 5 minutes? Well, mine is not. Everyone has an answer for how to get through dinner time with 3 small kids and I am not a fan of any of their easy answers. I am trying to let go of the guilt and embrace the idea that a 20 minute family dinner complete with devotions and pot roast with three sides is just a fantasy. Life is all about survival with small kids and I need to start letting go of the Pottery Barn catalog image of motherhood. We have all these "should do" ideas about how to plan every moment of our kids' lives. If I don't force Wyatt to sit and eat dinner, then he will do drugs in his teen years. If I don't force Greta to try 5 bites of everything, then she will grow up to be a person who only eat chicken nuggets. Wow. Once I put that in writing it looks really stupid. So today I vow to give myself permission to suspend the traditional family meal time until a later date. How much later? How 'bout college?

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Go Fight Win

These are my girls~the middle school cheer squad. I have had such a good time coaching them and I love them all to pieces! This is there very first mount at a game. Caroline is the flyer on the far left. Go Crusaders!

Monday, February 01, 2010

SAHM I Am . . . .Or Not

I'm having one of those days. I have had thousands of them since I began my stint as a Stay At Home mom in 1998. I feel like a dog chasing its tail. I have a mountain of work to get to and all I can muster the energy to do is hold Greta on the couch with her Tupperware Barf Bowl. I do laundry. I make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I clean up gobs of toothpaste. I build Lego trucks. I untangle American Girl hair. And so on. I'm OK with all of that. It comes with the territory of the choice I made to stay home. My frustration lies in the fact that I seem to be the only mom who doesn't love her stay at home mom-ness ALL THE TIME. Or at least according to Facebook every other SAHM thinks they have the greatest job in the world and loves spending every waking and non-waking moment with their kids. Are all these moms lying or am I truly the only one who gets sick of being a human kleenex all day? I chose to stay home because I thought it was important to be the one with my kids. I wanted to make the choices for how they spent their time. Problem is I am the one to blame for how their spend their time. . .is there any defense for "Yo Gabba Gabba"?

I can't even complete the thought right now. Someone is screaming and I can't ignore it anymore.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

Our school came down with a new rule this week aimed at the middle school kids.

Any use of the words "stupid" or "shut up" will result in a demerit.

Any use, regardless of context or intent. Any use. Am I the only one here who thinks this is STUPID?! We already have a rule about being disrespectful. Be the adult, use your discretion, and enforce it when appropriate. Don't need to start making a list of words. "Stupid" can be used appropriately or inappropriately, just like hundreds of other words in the English language. If your goal is to stop 11-13 yr olds from being smart mouthed, saying "Don't say THIS word" is the wrong way to go about it. You better believe they spent the whole day yesterday saying stupid and shut up as much as possible. Rules without brains behind them are a recipe for rebellion. Kids act out when rules make no sense.

We have an awesome group of kids in our little middle school. They are smart, funny, friendly, well behaved and respectful. I coach the cheerleaders so I spend a lot of time with these girls plus the girls and boys from the basketball teams. All good kids. A little rowdy and immature? Absolutely. They are supposed to be rowdy and immature. They are IN MIDDLE SCHOOL! This is 2010 and if our biggest problem is kids calling stuff and each other stupid, we got it pretty good! Or well? Good? Whatever.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

My Before Post

Why is it so hard? I mean seriously. Eat less food, move more. How freakin' hard is that? Very hard. I (heart) food. I love to cook it. I love to smell it. I love to eat it. I particularly love to eat it when everyone else is not bugging me. It's my treat that I look forward to all day long. My sister says our family's mealtime conversations focus around when and what we are going to eat next. That is so wrong.

January 2002 I was at an all-time high weight and an all time low. My mom was in the middle of her losing battle with cancer. Tim and I had been trying to have a baby for over 3 years. We finally gave up and started to pursue adoption. We were really excited about it. I decided that since I wasn't going to be preggers I was going to be skinny. I went to Weight Watchers and over 10 months I lost 30 pounds. I felt amazing and looked better than I did in college. Somewhere in mid-October 2002 I found out I was pregnant. Holy cow. How did THAT happen?!? Well, I know how it happens. . . . I was 2 pounds from my goal weight. Amelia was born June 2003, Greta was born January 2005 and Wyatt showed up July 2007. I never got back to where I was in October 2002.

Why can't I get there? I have gained and lost the same 10 pounds a zillion times since then. I have a million excuses but no valid reasons. I'm not one of those "never take care of myself" moms. I have no trouble getting away for a few hours to shop and EAT. I just can't seem to stick to it. Why? If I knew the answer, I probably wouldn't be fat. I want to be that cute thin athletic mom who does things with her kids. I want to wear cute clothes~it's hard enough to find stuff that doesn't make me look like either a teen or a grandma!

So here's my before picture. This is for me to look at every time I want to eat. Every time I want to skip my run. Every time I think I don't look so bad.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Random Randomness

Unemployment blows. Nothing much else to even say about it. Tim is home. ALL. DAY. EVERY. DAY. He's at the computer or on the phone all day long but it's pretty hard to keep it from sounding like the Nick Jr soundstage in the background. Wyatt is so colossally bored. I feel for the kid. He goes outside to play in the snow and that lasts about 10 minutes. He plays Legos and trucks. That lasts another 15 minutes. So that leaves Wyatt and I 11 hours to keep ourselves busy. When the girls were this age, I could get stuff done. They loved to "help" do housework. Wyatt sees a pile of clean laundry as a opportunity to throw things. He sees bathroom cleaner as a tasty snack. He sees a vaccum as a ride-on toy. He is so BOY. Sigh.

On another note, Caroline is having a fantastic time with cheerleading. I've been helping coach her squad and that's been a lot of fun. The girls are a riot and I'm trying really hard to be an appropriate role model. (Snort. . .)

Friday, January 01, 2010

Same Post As Every Other Blogger Today

It's that time of year. . . .everyone feels compelled to a New Years Resolutions. I am a realist. I always slide back to my old ways by Jan 19 so I'm not a big fan of the tradition. Funny thing is I do it every year. This year I will lose 30 pounds, save $10,000, clean my house every day, read my Bible more, play with my kids more, exercise, blah blah blah blah. I looked back in my old journals a noticed that the ONE year I actually DID lose 30 pounds and spend more time reading my Bible was the year I wrote down my resolutions in my journal. Things that make you go mmmmmmm. . . .

So here you have it.

1. Lose 25 lbs. I am done having babies and have no reason to be carrying around extra weight. It is unhealthy in so many ways not the least of which it increases my risk for breast cancer. I also feel yucky. I gained 4 pounds since T-giving and my jeans are tight. I hate that.

2. Read my Bible more. I go in spurts. I do my stuy for small group but usually not a whole lot more. Looking back in my journal I had a phase where I was copying certain verses and letting those guide my prayers. Need to get back to that.

3. Organize the toys. I don't think my kids have a ton of toys. The neighborhood children have asked me where all the toys are hidden so they don't think my kids have enough toys! They are big fans of things with lots of pieces though. Legos, puzzles, Polly Pockets, Little People. I need a better system to organize them because when the playroom is not a mess, they actually PLAY there!

4. Tim needs to find a job. Yesterday. In the South.

5. Stick to a schedule. I was the schedule nazi when my kids were babies but now that Wyatt is out of the baby phase I am not. I miss that predictablity.

So here's to 2010. What's your plan?