My Before Post

Why is it so hard? I mean seriously. Eat less food, move more. How freakin' hard is that? Very hard. I (heart) food. I love to cook it. I love to smell it. I love to eat it. I particularly love to eat it when everyone else is not bugging me. It's my treat that I look forward to all day long. My sister says our family's mealtime conversations focus around when and what we are going to eat next. That is so wrong.

January 2002 I was at an all-time high weight and an all time low. My mom was in the middle of her losing battle with cancer. Tim and I had been trying to have a baby for over 3 years. We finally gave up and started to pursue adoption. We were really excited about it. I decided that since I wasn't going to be preggers I was going to be skinny. I went to Weight Watchers and over 10 months I lost 30 pounds. I felt amazing and looked better than I did in college. Somewhere in mid-October 2002 I found out I was pregnant. Holy cow. How did THAT happen?!? Well, I know how it happens. . . . I was 2 pounds from my goal weight. Amelia was born June 2003, Greta was born January 2005 and Wyatt showed up July 2007. I never got back to where I was in October 2002.

Why can't I get there? I have gained and lost the same 10 pounds a zillion times since then. I have a million excuses but no valid reasons. I'm not one of those "never take care of myself" moms. I have no trouble getting away for a few hours to shop and EAT. I just can't seem to stick to it. Why? If I knew the answer, I probably wouldn't be fat. I want to be that cute thin athletic mom who does things with her kids. I want to wear cute clothes~it's hard enough to find stuff that doesn't make me look like either a teen or a grandma!

So here's my before picture. This is for me to look at every time I want to eat. Every time I want to skip my run. Every time I think I don't look so bad.