Tuesday, March 15, 2011

I Have Not Fallen in a Hole

I will blog again . . . . . . I promise. To tide you over, here's a discussion starter.

All middle schoolers are or will soon being sexually active. If you disagree, you are naive.

Some one said that to me. Discuss.

6 comments:

Shay said...

As the mother of an 11 year old middle schooler, please allow me to vomit on your shoes. And also, no way am I believing that, lol.

Amy said...

Did you seen Teen Mom 2 last night? Did you hear when Chelsea said (while they were in the butterfly exhibit) that she admits to doing things backward? First having sex, getting pregnant and then wanting to be with Adam and becoming a family? You kind of see that with all the girls in some sort of way. My husband and I both went to college, dated, got married, and had children. These girls are trying to do that all at once or in reverse order. I think most kids know that it isn't the best way to do things and waiting to have sex until marriage is a better choice.

But I think the church has been way too silent on the issue except for telling kids not to do it and setting "a rules agenda." I've seen some awkward and poorly led youth group meetings on the topic...or parents not willing to let youth leaders talk about it with the kids. I think some (but not all) parents don't even know where to start and resort to a one time "talk" at puberty or hand them a book about sex and send them off to middle school. The media especially MTV has a much louder voice and will continue to be way more open. I'm not saying it's always "a bad message" but kids look up to their parents (even if they have a strained relationship) and their church leaders. We need to be authentic, forgiving, and open with them.

Sorry I did not mean to preach a sermon, but my husband (who is a preacher...ha ha)is currently writing a book on this issue. And we've had lots of conversations as he's been writing it.

Jen said...

I did see Teen Mom. I used to work with PG teens for a living and many of them had several things in common, namely the lack of long-term goals and a deep desire for someone to love them. It starts with a guy and often transfers to the child "My baby will love me!".

I actually watch Teen Mom with my middle~schooler. She is not allowed to watch it alone but I will often pause it and we will discuss the choices the girls are making.

I think you are very correct in saying that many parents think it's a "one shot deal" with the sex talk. It should be happening over and over and over and over . . . .

Jen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Christine B said...

I agree with Shay...I need a moment....

Ok...breathing again! Open communication, talking about the "why" of saving yourself and prayer are my answers to this. I'm not so naive to think my kids "would never" but boy do I hope they can never say I didn't talk to them about it.

Our jr. high youth group bears out the statement you made...it's so sad. Most of the time, it's girl's giving BJ's ...and that sickens me...because that action does nothing but degrade a girl. If they are looking for love it won't happen there...makes my heart break!

We are responsible for the conversations and beliefs we share with our kids, with those kids placed in our lives...we can't make the decision for them. But if they make the wrong decision, we are also responsible to bandage the wounds left and try to show them how valuable their hearts are.

Welcome back Jen...I miss you terribly!

Kim said...

I think you really have fallen in a hole...