Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Did you do your chores?

I love Supernanny. She is so cool. I also love to watch because there is something gratifying about seeing people more screwed up than you! Tonight's episode featured a family with kdis who werew 7, 11, and 14 and had never done a chore in their life. Not one. Spoiled kiddos. The parents meant well, wanting the kids to be "happy" and have a nice life but in the process failed to teach them any life skills or values. Among my many pet peeves is helpless kids. Drives me crazy when I see moms at school carrying their 5th grader's backpack and coat for them. Are their arms broken?!?!

One of my New Years Resolutions this year is to re-vamp the chore list. Or to actually have one. The girls have to help with things~set and clear the table, clean up rooms, put away their laundry~but there is no specific list or jobs for them. I want to change that. My dilemma is what is age appropriate for each kid. I tend to expect too much of Caroline and not enough of Amelia and Greta. I also grapple with my slight leaning towards perfection. I kinda like things a certain way so I just end up doing it myself so it's my way. I know this helps no one. So I'm asking y'all here. What do your kids do? Is it posted, specific chores or more of a "we all help out" kind of thing? At what ages do you expect your kids to do certain things?

Another thought for comment. Are chores in your house tied to allowance? Should they be? I already have an opinion on this but I'd love to hear others.

19 comments:

kkoois said...

i am one of those moms you hate.

candi said...

Well since you asked...we do not have a chart of any kind. I am terrible at keeping up with those things. My children are just expected to do what I ask when I ask. Sounds great in theory right? Well the bulk of it falls on Jacob because he is so obedient. The other 2 end up doing all they can to look busy, with out actually doing anything. Maybe I need a new plan too. Although that will NOT include paying them to do chores, unless of course, someone comes in and starts paying Jay and I for clearing our plates or bringing our laundry to the hamper!!
Maybe a "romance" chart is what you need:)haha

Jen said...

I don't hate the mom~I hate seeing moms who let their kids take advantage of them.

Tim said...

yes we know that Kim

Carol said...

My children have daily and weekly chores and also are expected to do the extra things that I ask them to do. They do get an allowance. It is not tied to the chores, although they try to make the connection once in awhile. Josh will say "I don't feel like setting the table, so just don't pay me this week." I tell him that he will set the table and do an extra chore and may still not get paid this week. My older two get paid more than my youngest. They still have it very easy. Did you happen to catch any of wife swap?

Mommy Brain said...

I watched Supernanny too...LOVE HER!

We are in a chore cycle...sometimes I'm the consistent mom who cracks the whip and then sometimes I'm the tired mom who just can't fight it anymore. We taught Christian to take out the garbage back when he started Kindergarten and now he does the job on his own every week, without question...that's nice. I've taught the older two how to unload and load dishes and put laundry away, vaccuum and dust, pick up dog poop..when it works it's great.

They also get allowance...I don't think it's tied to chores...maybe it is. My thing about allowance that Doug and i have gone round and round about is that I think it needs to be enough $ that the kids can actually save for something they want in a reasonable time. If they are only getting $1 a week...why bother saving...but if it's 3 or 5 a week then saving seems to be something they can attain. This was a good idea when only one kid was getting allowance, but now three of them are...it's getting expensive. But then again, I don't buy games, or jewelry or even cool socks...if the kids want them they have to buy them.

Leenie said...

Now that Aidan is getting to the age to help out, he cleans the table off after dinner. I also make him put away his clothes and towels. I don't pay him unless it is a big chore and I need to bribe him but that is not often.

I also love Suppernanney--Makes me feel like I'm the best mom.

mommy to an angel said...

Suppernanny was good last night, but I must say I was suprised to see that they made such a drastic transformation - I'd like to be a fly on the wall 6 months later!
Obviously I don't have a chore list for my 3 year old, but I have started asking more of her - my problem? I have to quit expecting perfection. She was helping me fold towels and it was really bothering me that they weren't folded like I would fold them. She's totally capable of dusting and doing other things I just have to not expect it to be perfect. She's become a great help at putting stuff away after a trip to the grocery store. I just have to get over the fact that the toilet paper is outside of the bathroom door instead of in the linen closet where I told her to put it.
I think if you give an allowance then that's all they get - they don't get extra stuff here and there at Target in the dollar spot or anywhere - that's how it was with us growing up - you got allowance and what you did with it was your own business but you didn't get anything else. I also feel like some things are just expected out of members of the family - you are expected to clean up after yourself...and I'm not going to pay you for that!
I can definitley find myself bribing too and I know that's probably not good, but you do what you have to, right?

anne said...

No allowance here. My older kids have specific jobs to do when I ask. Joey likes to vacuum and clean the bathrooms. Noah is in charge of the dishwasher and garbage. Obviously they don't do this stuff everyday, but will do when asked. They are all expected to clean their rooms and put dirty laundry in the hamper. Both bedrooms are now a mess, so a cleaning is definitely the order of the day after school.

i am not said...

We don't do allowance or chores yet. I think NOra is getting to the age where she can pitch in and help and it helps when I set a timer and ask her if she thinks she can do such and such by the time the timer goes off. Ryann, however, still fights us to pick up - she conveniently falls over and over again:)

Neither Dave, nor I got allowances when we were kids. I got a job when I was 13 which helped to pay for the clothes that I wanted in addition to the school clothes my mom bought. I'm not sure what I think about allowance. I'm not really pro-allowance, however, I do think that it is an opportunity to teach our kids about tithing and saving.

We had started paying Nora and Ryann insignificant amounts of money (10 cents, 20 cents - anything divisible by 10) to do little chores - make their beds, feed the dog, etc. And we gave them each 3 plastic cups labeled Jesus, Bank & Nora/Ryann. When they did a job they were excited to give 10 percent to Jesus, 10 percent to the bank and keep the rest for themselves. It was fun for about a week and then the novelty of it all wore off. Jake Alderden actually gave them a 20 dollar bill to exchange for pennies so they could have a ton of them:) I'm not sure what I think about allowance being tied to chores...

Good post - definitely some things we need to consider. Its also hard to get Nora to do stuff when we can't expect Ryann to do the same - she feels like it isn't fair, so we do need to think this through a bit.

Ann(ie) said...

My boy is barely one so his main job right now is to trash the place, but I love Supernanny. Saw that show....shook my head throughout the episode especially when the oldest daughter was calling their home a dump. ;( um, hello....I want a pool!!!

Megan said...

Yeah, Reece has little chores here and there too. But we don't give him money to do it. Maybe when he gets older and takes on adult chores such as mowing the lawn and stuff like that. Then maybe I'll throw a couple bucks his way.

Aimee said...

We don't have a list of chores to do, but the kids know that they have certain things that they have to do. Such as, make their bed, set the table, put laundry away. Chloe and Brett are pretty good with it, and Owen's just learning. (he does it in his own way :)) I don't give an allowance, but I do buy something from the Target one spot aisle every now and then for them, so I guess that's a bit of a reward.

Tamara said...

Hey,
How did you get your Meez to download at that size? I can't get mine any smaller!

Tamara said...

We have chores and allowance, and usually they aren't connected, unless I need to threaten for some reason. (I know, not good, but I don't need to use it often) But, I do have extra chores that can be done for extra money.

Amy said...

I think whatever you do for chores/allowance is fine...the key is consistency. I think that's the problem we had growing up. We were pretty lazy kids b/c we knew we could get away with it.

We have a two year old and baby so we're not at the same point as everyone else here. However my daughter started picking up her toys at around 18 months of age every night except Sundays. We often help her, but now she's at the point where she does most of it herself. We're going to start having her make her bed every morning once she fully drops the afternoon nap...there's no sense in making it twice! I think slowly adding responsibility as they get older is great.

We will do allowances so they can learn about money management.

Heaven Sent said...

Emma helps me hand laundry and set the table. She also has to put her coat and shoes away. But that's about it for now, and the usual cleaning up toys.

Jeff and I haven't discussed allowance yet, but I like Jana's idea of the different jars. Good topic!

mommy24 said...

The Schutt boys don't get allowance either. We have pretty high expectations of our guys, but they don't have specifics for each day. They mow lawn, vacuum, clean rooms, empty garbages, etc. If there's something that they do that's beyond the norm, they can earn songs for their MP3 players. Figure that way I am in control over what's on the players and I'm not out too much money!

When they ask why they don't get paid, I tell them that when they contribute to the mortgage and electricity bills, I'll begin to pay them for their chores.

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