A while back I had a post about Mommy Dating~that search for other Mom Friends to connect with that most of us go thru. We discussed how to meet that "perfect" new BFF. After you've chatted for hours on the phone and maybe even done some IMing. You stepped up to face-to-face meetings at the park, McD's playland, your house, her house, and now quite frankly the thrill is gone. To quote my buddy Axl, "Where do we go now?"
Reach back in your mind to singlehood. Do you remember the guy that seemed so perfect for a few dates and then you saw a flaw? There is an episode of "Seinfeld" where Jerry has the perfect girlfriend until she thinks she sees him pick his nose. After that, it's all over. Even though Jerry vehemently states "No pick!", the belief is there and it's over.
Identify the Problem
Before making a life-altering decision, one needs to evaluate the situation. What bugs you about your new BFF? And can you live with it? Is she a "One-upper"? If your baby has a cold, her baby has pneumonia. If your baby learned to sit up, her's is crawling. You get the picture. While annoying, if all other things are good, this might be something I can live with. Two things are deal breakers for me. Lying is one, especially lying to ingratiate yourself to someone. Like "Oh yes, Muffy and I go way back! I'm her baby's godmother!" Often this will be said with no knowledge that I am friends with Muffy and know full-well she is not Junior's godmother. The other deal breaker is My Child Is Perfect Syndrome. Face it, all of our offspring are little monsters with little or no social graces. I expect toddlers to hit, kick, and scream. What I do not expect is Mommy to turn a blind eye or always assume her Little Precious would never be involved in anything so base as toy-grabbing or hitting.
Now that we have decided that we have an honest-to-goodness ex-BFF on our hands, we need to figure out our strategy. As in all of life, a girl needs a plan. And a cute seasonally appropriate diaper bag.
Option A~~Duck and Run
I am always in favor of the duck and run. And may I also add that Caller ID is a new mommy's best friend. The key here is to suddenly become so swamped that you can't possibly make it to the park, the mall, McD's, whatever. Hopefully, they eventually get the hint. **Complication**One complication of the Duck and Run is the Ex-BFF who really believes that you are swamped and shows up with dinner and cleaning supplies. I actually had one girl come clean my bathrooms because I told her I was so miserably pregnant I couldn't clean my toilets, let alone have a social life. I only felt guilty til I saw my reflection in my bathtub. This is the equivalent of the guy who sends roses everyday and plays "your song" Lloyd Dobler style outside your bedroom window trying to woo you back. While you may enjoy being the object of affection, it is a bit creepy.
While this option sounds morally superior, it really isn't. Especially for me as subtlety has never been my spiritual gift. You can just sit down with Ex BFF and tell her while you have enjoyed her company you think she could use a visit from Supernanny. How can this be a good thing? While honest, it really isn't very nice.
I had used both of these options with varied success. So that you know I have also been Mommy Dumped, I have had them used on me. One got kinda nasty over breast vs bottle and went downhill from there. Another constantly called her kid "Angel Baby" as he was whacking Caroline over the head with a Barney guitar. And SHE dumped ME!
Hopefully, you will come to a point that you have found some new BFFs who also have great kids. I have found a few newbies myself lately~~if only they didn't live in BFE. . .Now your next task is to intro the husbands and pray they get along!
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