Tuesday, October 24, 2006

You might be a redneck if. . .



Here's a neato shot of our neighbor's back yard. No, there was not a terrible storm or vandals. That, ladies and gentlemen, is normal. They started to assemble a new picnic table, got bored, and left it there. For 9 days. This was a stroke of genius on their part. They didn't need to pick up any of the paper or cardboard from their new purchase~I did. Out of my shrubs, trees, and window wells.

Now moving to Exhibit B. Look closely at this shot. See the windchimes as big as your leg?! Observe the stunning Bug Zapper powered by a sunny yellow extension cord. Pretty, eh? So that brings me to the Q 'o the Day. How do you ask someone you've spoken to twice to remove the windchimes that wake the dead? Before you answer, you need to know that Mrs Redneck was seen screaming obscenities at the ATT guy last week in the backyard. In a muu muu. With curlers.

Seriously, I love bein' a Hoosier and all, but I am trapped in a Jeff Foxworthy special. Help.

11 comments:

melissa :) said...

Personally, I'd like to see a photo of her. :)

I'd call the city. Plain & simple. Yuck! :(

bad melissa :) said...

Better yet, I'd pay someone to sneak in their backyard in the middle of the night & have those chimes disappear. ;)

Carol said...

Oh my! I thought that was a toilet behind the tree until I saw the second picture! I would just tell her. Plain and simple. (I just lied... I would not say anything and live with it.)umm..good luck with that.

candi said...

OH MY GOODNESS!!!!

Mommy Brain said...

Blank Stare.

You could move back to civilization! There's an empty lot across the street...hmmm...that would mean you could own 3 houses at the same time! You'd be winning in Monopoly.

aimeethiele said...

I've got the same problem. Only my redneck neighbor lets his dogs bark at all hours of the night ~ while he gets drunk, listens to LOUD country music, and beeps his horn in his car. I've got no answers for you, but just know that I feel your pain! :)

Frannie Farmer said...

ohhh... when I am thinkin' about sellin' the farm, neighbors like that will stop my dead in my tracks. Yikes!

Kary said...

I predict a privacy fence in your future.

Amanda said...

Wow...that's horrible! Do you have a homeowners association? That's got to be against covenant laws if you do. If not, I'm sorry!!!! ICK!

Heaven Sent said...

That stinks. Can the city really do something? I guess Carol has the right idea, but not sure I'd have the guts either.

Ummmm...close the blinds??

Amy said...

I followed your blog from Jana's. This entry made me laugh b/c it reminded me of Gary, IN (where we lived for a year). The gas station by our church was owned by a man who wore a holster with a shotgun at all times and had his crazy guard dogs outside. Another family had chickens running all over their yard (in the city). At least you don't have chickens!