FIVE BEST QUOTES FROM MY FRIENDS
1. OB: How are you at remembering to take your prenatals?
FRIEND: About as good as I am at remembering to take my birth control.
2. CHILD: Mommy, I can't sleep.
MOMMY: Why not?
CHILD: Because Texas is the Lone Star State.
3. I need to clean my house in case DCFS shows up.
4. Those were my drunk-and-naked years.
5. The TV does not watch itself.
FIVE BEST SONGS TO LISTEN TO WHEN YOU'VE BEEN DUMPED
1. Every Rose Has It's Thorn~Poison
2. I Hate Myself for Loving You~Joan Jett
3. Anything by Alanis Morrisette or Avril Lavenge
4. All Cried Out~Lisa Lisa and Clut Jam
5. Could've Been~Tiffany
FIVE BEST ALBUMS YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF
1. El Camino Yes Maybe~Emitter
2. Romeo Unchained~Tonio K
3. Swimming in a Human Ocean~Servant
4. The Turning~Leslie Phillips
5. Naked~River Sevens Well
Breakfast BLT Salad
21 hours ago