It must be nice to have so much time on your hands.
I need the stimulation of my career.
Why did you get your degree if you're going to waste it?
Isn't it boring to be at home?
No wife/daughter of mine is going to sit home all day!
Can you do this/go here/buy that/bake this since you're home anyway?
I'm not the type of person who could be a SAHM.
We've all heard them a thousand times. I have been a Stay At Home Mom for 10 years now and I have heard 'em all. We all know the stereotypes of the SAHM who knows the storyline of "Days of Our Lives" and eats chocolates all day. We also know the rosy image of perfectly groomed mom baking cookies while well-adjusted toddlers play with blocks in the perfect family room. Neither one of those happening here.
I don't need to convince people that being a SAHM is hard. Or important. Or fulfilling. I need to convince myself. I think that is why those comments sting us SAHM so hard. We feel like we are always having to prove that we are not lazy or intellectually challenged. Being a SAHM is the ultimate self-starter position. Think about it. If your job. . .
- didn't have a boss
- didn't have clear guidelines
- didn't have any hard deadlines
- didn't have a schedule for production
- didn't have a routine that stayed the same for any length of time
- didn't have any specific works hours
- didn't have any breaks
- didn't have fear of discipline from the boss
- AND didn't have a PAYCHECK
I do love being a SAHM. Most of the time. Some days. Sort of. I love the freedom I have to plan my week the way I want to. I love the fact that my kids are with me. I get to spend time with friends during the day which my dear dear dear husband likes to remind me when we have the weekly "my life sucks more than yours" fight. Yep, I spent 3 hours at the McDonald's Playland with Kary and her two youngest kids. It was more relaxing than a day at the spa. (Note the sarcasm.) These things I get to do are really like business trips. When you have to go to Florida to call on a client you are working. Even though it's sunny Florida you aren't visiting WDW or laying on the beach. Same with SAHM playdates and such. Prettier scenery but still work.
I'm really not sure the point of this whole post. It's not to convince people that SAHM have value. It's not to complain about how rough my life is. It is certainly not to start a WOTH/SAHM war because that is just dumb. We're all moms and make the best decisions we can. I know I get annoyed when a WOTH mom utters the comments listed so I try my very best not to even have those kind of thoughts about my WOTH mom friends. Honestly, I think we are so critical of moms who do it different because we are so insecure in our decisions. Motherhood is a constant state of second guessing. Is this right for my kid or is that right? We tend to beat down the other choice to make ourselves feel better about our own choices. The other reason we make those comments is pure stupidity. Simple not thinking about how it sounds to a mom on the other side of the proverbial fence. Moms are gifted at reading subtext and often use this power for evil instead of good. When a WOTH mom says "I need the stimulation of my career." she means she likes her career. When a SAHM hears that sentence she hears, "I am superiorly intelligent to you and am simply too evolved to spend my day watching soaps and Dora the Explorer in my PJs b/c that is what you do."
Again, I have no idea the point of this post but face it. The grass is not any greener anywhere else. Except if you live in Florida and have a dog to pee on it. Then you have really green grass and mine is brown for fall.