Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Holiday Shopping Do's and Don'ts

With the season of cheer upon us, I feel the need to remind us all of some simple rules when out and about. I have already been out and encountered many a Hooiser who needs an reminder. So here's a handy primer for all. . .

DO stay to the right of the aisle when stopping to check ingredients, compare prices, ect. This allows others to pass easily.

DON'T stop in the middle of the aisle when running into your BFF from high school. Kindly resume shopping or move the reunion to Starbucks.

DON'T make the poor clerk do a price check on every stinkin' item in your cart because you are sure that the sign said "Buy 1 get 10 Free" DO make dang certain that if you ask for a price check that you are correct.

DON'T chat on your cell phone while meandering back and forth down the aisle, making it impossible for me to pass you.

DON'T walk against the flow of traffic. With a stroller, 7 kids, Grandma in a wheelchair, and a seeing eye dog.

DO leave your coat in the car. I do not want to carry it for you. (This only pertains to my shopping companions. I do not carry strangers coats.) I also do not want to hear about how warm you are in your parka.

DO be aware of your surroundings~especially when needing to back up. My baby does not wish to be sat upon.

DON'T allow small children to behave like, well, small children in stores which they have no place in. Right now I can not think of one of those but I'm sure there is one or two.

DON'T hog Santa. Hug, smile for a pic, share your list, and get the heck out. Don't come back while my kid is sitting there and ask her to move so you can get another snap shot.

While on the subject of Santa DO remove yourself from the line in the event of a potty/diaper emergency. I would be happy to hold your place in line while you attend to business in a more private area.

DON'T attempt to return an item with no reciept or tags and then cuss out the store manager because she won't give you a cash refund.

DO remember pedestrians have the right of way. Especially in marked cross walks.

DON'T park in the "Expectant Mother" parking if you do not own a uterus.

DON'T "steal" a spot that someone is obviously waiting for. If turn signal is on and car is waiting for another car to clear out, it is their spot.

DO return your cart to cart corral.

DO allow the pregnant, elderly, or mom with many children to have the closer spot. If you are alone, adult, able-bodied, and it is not a blizzard, please let those of us who need to shlep 3 kids into Target have the closer spot.

One final overriding tidbit~DO NOT for the love of Pete take your toddler out shopping at 9:30 pm and then yell "I'm gonna whip your butt!" at her for behaving like a toddler who should be in bed not in Target.

Thank you for reading and have a joyous shopping season!


kkoois said...

i guess we better not go shopping together this holiday season since i have a tendency to yell "i'm gonna whip your butt!" at my kid and anyone else who gets in my way. sorry.

i am not said...

May I add one?

DO look behind you when you get out of your seat in the food court so you don't ram your chair into me while I'm walking not very close to you with my 1 year old birthday child.

DON'T say "I'm sorry" in a really snotty voice, twice, when a) you don't mean it and b) I looked at you, smiled, and said "its alright".

I'm sure i'll come back to add more.... oh here's another one:

i am not said...

forget it - it was offensive;)

Carol said...

Can you please send these to all the stores/malls in the area, so that they can post these? thanks!

Frannie Farmer said...

Oh, your final words are ones that should be on a banner outside our local Target. I can't believe the things people will yell at their children.

Melanie said...

you are hilarious! it would be great to get these posted somewhere...although they should be common knowledge!