Thursday, September 21, 2006

Stop Dressing Your 6yr Old Like a Skank*

Those of you who read my blog regularly~and there seems to be less and less of you these days~might have noticed a new button on my sidebar. It says "Moms for Modesty" and it is one of those online petition things. Now before you point and laugh at me, I do realize that online petitions do not save the world. But I also thought it was a good opportunity as the mom of girls to add my "Amen and preach it sister!"

This issue of appropriate clothing for little girls has driven me crazy since Caroline moved into the 4-6 size range. Before that we were happy at Target or Kohls or Babies R Us. While the quality sucks at all those places, we did find cute things. And for me it is not so much about "showing skin" I have no problem with the girls wearing tank tops or shorter skirts (ONLY if there are built-in shorts underneath) It is about making them look like little adults. I don't need Amelia to have a black pencil skirt with a silver chain hanging off it or Caroline to wear a gauzy see-thru top with a cami under it. I also detest those T-shirts with snarky sayings on them. Like this or this . We already fight against the attitude why enforce it? I also hate the Tshirts that say "Princess" While I am all about developing self-esteem in my girls, hello, let's talk about modesty! How 'bout a T shirt that says "Really good at soccer" or "Bakes a mean brownie" Let's focus on all the great talents they have instead of how cute or spoiled they are.

This quest is what brought me to Gymboree in the first place. I have been a Gymboree fan for years but their newest line has yoga pants that say "CUTE" on the buttinski~for baby! Why on earth do we need to DRAW ATTENTION to a toddler's biscuits?! I complained to the store manager. We are big fans of Lands End , Hanna Andersson, and I am even branching out to a very FEW pieces from Limited Too.

And while we are fixing this world problem, can we PUH-LEEZE get rid of Bratz dolls?!?!?! I am sick of Caroline coming home in tears because the neighborhood girls are playing with them and she's not allowed to. She understands (we point them out at the store and talk about how they are inappropriate) but it's still hard to be left out.

**Stole this title from this book which I'm dying to read!


Kary said...

You are sooo brilliant. I agree with you 100%. This is why we're friends. This is why you're my bestest friend in the whole wide world. Do you feel the love?

BTW, did I tell you how nice your biscuits looked lately?

Aimee said...

I'll put my "Amen" in too. I completely agree with you. And I HATE Bratz dolls too ~ Chloe wants to play with them sooo bad, but I won't let her either. They're ridiculous. Thanks for getting me into Gymboree! :)

Melissa :) said...

Oh wow, what I have to look forward to. Cailyn is 20 months now. I'm am not looking forward to the future - clothes wise. :(

Heaven Sent said...

Something to think about definitely. I love dressing Emma, but you're right. We need to be teaching modesty from the start. Thanks for bringing up an important issue for our (dare I say it) princesses! :o)

Carol said...

I'm glad I have boys and they don't want to wear skanky clothes. But I still teach them appropriate modest behavior! I'm so glad to hear that you are teaching your girls about modesty, as well.

Carol said...

And I will always read your blog! I like it!

i am not said...

Okay, first of all... post more often, slut.

Now to the topic. I whole-heartedly agree with you. I've told Dave from the very beginning that this is going to be a tough issue. Even when Nora was a baby I was frustrated with the options of clothing for her - halter tops for a 9month old? Hello?

As the girls have gotten older I've become a little more relaxed in some areas (tank tops are okay), however, I will never and I mean NEVER relax on a few of my "rules":
* No sayings on your t-shirt (like the ones you posted)
* No Bratz
* No Baby Phat
* No sayings on your bum
* No unnecessary skin showing
* No clothing that makes you look like a small adult

Now I will tell you also that an important piece to this is that I DON'T DRESS THAT WAY EITHER! I'm sure you don't either, but if we want our girls to be modest we need to model modesty for them and not just make up rules for their wardrobe. I will not wear low rise jeans that show off my crack. I will not wear shirts that bare my middriff (for more reasons than one). I will not wear shirts that provide a view of the non-existent cleavage that I'm pretending to have. I dress modestly and will teach my girls to do so also.

I don't shop at gymboree because of the price and because I do not like the whole matchy matchy thing - my preference. But I have heard that they are very conservative and good for the reasons you posted. How disappointing that they are jumping on that trend. I have had very good luck at Burlington Coat Factory. I go there twice a year to get new wardrobes for the girls and have been very happy with what I've bought.

This is a tough issue and one that my heart aches over. I could go on forever, but I've gone on long enough - sorry:)

Jen said...

I know we're so much alike. ;-)

I hate Burlington for the simple reason of their return policy! It sucks. I am my mother's daughter and usually return 1/2 of what I buy.

And believe it or not, I have gotten over the matchy thing. Funny, it was someting I swore Iwould never do. Then I had Greta and lost my mind. LOL!

Melissa :) said...

1.) I shop at Burlington too.
2.) I HATE their return policy (the non-existent one) but just saw a commercial that said something like "the *new cashback return"...???
3.) Define slut. :)

Carol said...

But how much emphasis should we be putting on clothes and trying to look "just so"? We wear mostly hand-me-downs and thrift store clothes over here. We can find good in-style and yes, trendy, clothes at the resale shops. I'd go broke otherwise. In that I teach my boys the morals about materialism, as well as modest behavior!

Carol said...

I'm confused about the Bratz Dolls...I think I bought one for a friend's daughter once. What's the prob with them? Aren't they just modern day Barbie dolls? (yes, I'm egging on another post here!) :)
From: Testosterone Household

Tim said...

yes jd, Jen dresses like a slut and I like it!

Mommy Brain said...

Reading through all your comments...I don't disagree with teaching girls to dress modestly from a young age and then when in proper time explaining to them why that is so important. But I have a question...what is the definition of skank and what is the definition of dressing like a skank? Is everything trendy skanky? Is trying to look "grown up" skanky? Were we skanky when we wore long ribbons on our barretts or big belts or tight skinny jeans? I think it's dangerous to pass judgement on other peoples children for their fashion choices if they are simply not tasteful or we don't like them. Yes, I agree little girls or big girls should not walk around with butts hanging out of jeans or wearing thongs. But just because you dress differently doesn't mean you dress skanky it just makes you different. If you don't agree with Princess shirts or Brown Eyed Girl shirts then don't buy them...however I don't think that parents who allow their girls fashion choices other than little house on the prairie dresses should be labeled as uncaring or unfit...I just don't think that's fair. I think the definition of skank needs to be firmed up a bit to truly reflect what a skank is and let the rest settle on "we just don't agree."

I don't wish to make any enemies...just like strong discussions. Truly!

Carol said...

I guess it's time for me to get rid of the t-shirt I bought on Spring Break while in college that says "Party Naked with Me" across the chest.

One Creative Queen said...

Just had to add my $2.95 ~ sadly, both the shirts you link to are sold out. Shows that most people don't mind skankalicious kids. Personally, I wouldn't ever dress my daughter in anything like that - unless the shirt had a crown on it. (Goes with the territory of being the Queen's daughter.)

I just found your blog while looking for something else - and must tell you it's far more interesting than what I was looking for in the first place. I'll be a frequent reader from now on...makes me feel a bit less guilty since I've not kept up with my own blog.

So please, in an effort to relieve a bit of the guilt some chick you've never met feels, keep blogging. It's nice to read that someone feels like I do ~ especially since I haven't been inflicting my views on the Internet public!

You rock!