Peeing In a Cup is Not a Spectator Sport

I had a bit of a last minute OB visit yesterday. Since it was last minute, I needed to bring Greta and Amelia with me. OK, we can handle this. Lots of bribes, a handful of little people, and a bag of M&Ms should do the trick. And it did. With 2 exceptions.

As one must do at all OB appointments, one must tinkle in a cup. Now this is hard enough with a pregnany belly in the way but with an audience of 2 very interested little girls it was near impossible. And the entire office heard play-by-play. With an echo. So here I am. Seated on the throne with a girl at each knee staring at my crotch like it was about to spew candy or something.

Scene 1. Setting: Bathroom at the OB office.

Ameila: "MOMMY! You went potty in that cup! Cups are not for tinkle. Cups are for drinking!"

Greta: "MOMMY! TINKLE! CUP!! POTTY!!! MEEE TOOOO! I do it myself!!!!"

Mommy: "SSSHHHHHHHHH!"

Amelia: "Why you go tinkle in that cup? Now what are you doing Mommy? Why are you putting that cup in the hole? WOW! Mommy! That hole spins! Where did your tinkle go? (yelling into the revolving window to the nurses) GIVE BACK my MOMMY's Cup! There's tinkle in there!"

Greta: "MOMMY! TINKLE! CUP! MYSLEF!!!"

Mommy: "SSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Amelia: "When I get big and have a baby come out my tummy I will get to go tinkle in cup. Not you Greta. You a baby."

Greta: "I NOT a baby. I Getta. I potty cup. I do MYSELF!!"

Did I mention that the walls are paper thin? I can hear the nurses chuckling.

SCENE #2 Exam room.
Amelia is laying on the floor with Little People up her shirt. Doc walks in. Doc is a woman.

Amelia: "Hi Nurse. I have a baby coming out of my tummy. Can you get the doctor to pull it out my bottom?"

Doc: "Hi Honey, I'm the Doctor."

Amelia: "No you not. Doctors are boys and you are a girl. Girls are nurses."

Seriously, this is what my kid said. Is she learning everything about medicine from Marcus Welby MD?! I'm shocked she didn't tell Doc that she was going to have her baby on the kitchen table in the log cabin! And who told her babies come "out the bottom"?!? Ugh.

Friday Five

FIVE BEST THINGS ABOUT BEDREST
1. I am really caught up on Days.
2. My sciatic nerve doesn't hurt so bad since I'm not moving so much.
3. Laundry? What laundry?
4. Meals from people who are way better cooks than I!
5. More time to obsess over baby names.

FIVE BEST THINGS ABOUT 2 YR OLDS
1. They are not 1 yr olds.
2. They're love of dental hyegine.
3. Mullets.
4. When counting to ten, they love to yell their favorite number, "SEX!"
5. The Rainman-like repeating of everything.

FIVE BEST SONGS FOR HOUSECLEANING
1. I Wanna Be Sedated~The Ramones
2. Pour Some Sugar on Me~Def Leppard
3. Bad Reputation~Joan Jett
4. 9 to 5~Dolly Parton
5. Lord, I Lift Your Name on High~Petra

FIVE BEST THINGS ABOUT BEING PREGNANT
1. Feeling the baby move.
2. Not having to suck in my gut.
3. McDonald's french fries.
4. yeah, i got nothin else.
5. Nope. Nothin.

Seriously?

Ever since Caroline was about 3 we have gotten about once per trip in public THE COMMENT. It usually goes something like this.

"WOW! She looks exactly like that girl! You know, the actress one. From that movie with Sean Penn. What's her name?"

"Dakota Fanning"

"That's it. She looks JUST like her. Has anyone ever told you that?"

Since "Charlotte's Web" we have gotten the comment even more. Well, today while grocery shopping, I got it about Greta. Really? She's 2 and you compare her to a famous child actor who is 13? Oh well. I guess there are worse famous people my kids could resemble.

Since the naming post was such a hit. . .

Here's some new ones I have come up with the past few weeks. Feel free to honestly comment~~as if you wouldn't! These are names I like and kind of have been kicking around. They have either been suggested by someone or I have found them in books.

Mercy
Scarlett
Bronwyn
Eliza
Ella Grace (as in one name, not first and middle)
Piper
Margaret (this is one I would break my no nickname rule on) Probably Meg or Maggie
Penelope
Hilary
Mary Kate~~I really like this but is it too Olson twins?
Georgia
Tessa
Kathleen
Meredith
Eleanor
Charity

So whaddya think?!

A Rose by Any Other Name

Ask any of my friends and they will tell you Pregnant Jen is obessessed with baby names. I have spent about 80% of the time of each pregnancy fretting over what to name the baby. I owe every baby name book on the planet. I am on a 9 month quest for the absolute prefect name.

I have always said some of this obessesion comes from the fact that I hate my name. Always have. I was one of a zillion Jennys so when Aunt Barb changed it to "Jenni" to separate me from her daughter "Jenny" I was so happy to be different. As an adult I still hate that whenever I call someone I always have to say my last name. I think of "Jennifer" as the ultimate bimbo name. I wanted to be a lawyer but "Jennifer" didn't have the same classic cool as "Katherine" or "Margaret" I also hate that my name screams "I WAS BORN IN THE 70's!"

So now that you know how much I hate my name, you can help name the baby. Baby Girl that is. Baby Boy has had a name since Amelia that will be used in the event of outdoor plumbing. Baby Girl is running out of options. We are looking for something classic and pretty. Timeless is good. A perfect example of a name we love is Abigail. But it is way too popular. Here's some other ground rules, so to speak.

1. At least 2 syllables. This is Tim's rule.
2. No repeat intials of what we have. So no C, A, or G. EXCEPTION if it is a different sound. Like "CH" instead of hard "C".
3. Nothing ending in "a"
4. Can't be in the top 50. This used to be 100 but beggars can't be choosy.
5. No "L" names. Sounds stupid with our last name.
6. No unisex names. This is also Tim's rule.

So have it! Give us some suggestions and maybe you'll come up with the winner!

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter to all! We had a really nice day this year. Full of surprises! We started with our family tradition of making Easter story cookies Saturday night. If you have never heard of these, they are great. It is a mereiguene cookie recipie that has a Bible verse and lesson for each ingredient. The last thing you do before bed is put the cookies in the oven and "seal the tomb" like the did with Jesus. Then in the morning~~or after church if you don't want the kiddies eating cookies for breakfast~~you open the oven and find hollow cookies. Empty just like the tomb. Caroline read all the verses, Amelia chanted "My Jesus is ALIVE", and Greta just yelled "COOKIE!!" over and over forever!

Church was great this morning~good music as always. Tim was a bit annoyed that the band did a rocking rendition of "I Am Free" while we sat. He thought we should be standing. He was right but I was not about to stand up! I am Linda's daughter after all. . .

We had planned a quiet afternoon of chili dogs, the Sox game, and the Masters but some of our small group had other plans. They decided it was just wrong to eat hot dogs for Easter dinner so they called after church and invited us over. And I am so glad they did! We had a great time. The girls got to do an Easter egg hunt, we had an awesome dinner, and still watched the Sox game. Thanks so much guys!

And to top off a great day was the Masters. Zach Johnson is our new favorite golfer. We were rooting for him coming up the back nine. Nice Midwestern kid. BTW~When do you get old enough to call people who are 30 "KID"?!? We were so happy to see him win. And then they did the interview. And what did nice Zach say?

Q: Who do you need to thank?
A: My beautiful wife, new baby boy, parents, coaches, blah blah blah, AND Jesus, my Lord and Savior. This being Easter makes it so much for special. My faith means everything to me.

Well that sealed the deal here. Tiger who? We love Zach!

Here we are after church getting the cookies out of the oven. And below is Caroline reading the Bible verses while we made the cookies.

Here's Greta already to find some eggs. And notice Abbey is all bundled properly and my kid is not! :-)

And this has to be the photo of the day. Pure happy Amelia.

Who's Your 80's Heartthrob?

OK, I so know none of you can resist this one. (ree ree, I'm talking to you!) Anyone surprised by mine?

Your 80s Heartthrob Is

Michael J. Fox

Who's" Your 80's Heartthrob?

Who Am I?

Did anyone else have to do those reports in 3rd or 4th grade? You know, the one where you write a book report on the life story of some famous person and then read it aloud to class so they can guess who you are? I did Nadia Comanchi~~hey, it was the early 80's and I wanted to be a gymnast!

Well, Caroline is needing to pick a person to do a book report. It will not be presented the same way as I remember doing it so she can pick a person of either gender. She wanted to do Laura Ingalls but her teacher put the kebosh on that since Caroline already knows a lot about her. The point is to learn about someone new, I guess, which makes this difficult for me. And it is all about me.

So we need some input. Tim and I have mentioned everyone from Tiger Woods to George Washington. Tim voted for Susan B Anthony so he can find out why she's on the $1 coin. I voted for Medgar Evers and everyone said "Who?" Amelia suggested Cinderella and Greta said "Doggie" After a while we were cracking ourselves up with suggestions like Ryan Seacrest, John Calvin, Bill Clinton, Sanjaya, Peter Van Raalte and Margaret Sanger. Right now some of the front runners are Ronald Reagan, Martin Luther King Jr, and Abraham Kuyer. So we need some ideas. The biggest catch is we h ave to be able to find some books that a 3rd grader can read to gather info.

SSSSSOOOOOOO give us some ideas!

Am I Alone?

I often find myself on the internet~~reading blogs, learning more new things about my pregnancy, looking for the name of the song I heard on the radio, scanning Ebay for some new Gymboree duds, ect. When do I indulge in this activity? Mostly 2 times per day. Late at night when all is quiet and late afternoon when all is crazy and I want to escape. I usually feel some guilt about the fact my girls are screaming at each other and I am not making Rice Krispie treats with them. And then I get over it. It's really easy to blame this on the computer but it's not really it. Our moms didn't have the internet, they chatted on the phone. I have memories of my mom sitting at the kitchen table with a glass of iced tea talking to her friends while Kim and I did our thing. I really don't think media can be blamed for us mommies wanting to check out once a day. Heck, I bet Caroline Ingalls hid in the garden while Mary and Laura tore down the cabin!

Is it really so bad to ignore our kids once a day for awhile? I do love being an at-home mom, but I am a person who can only stand to read "Elmo Goes to School" 25 times before reaching for the vodka. I think it is so good for them to have some time to figure things out on their own. To not have mom showing them how to do the puzzle and how to set up the Polly Pockets. I also want my girls to see that being their mom is not the only thing I do. This is one area I think that my working girlfriends have it easier. It is obviously that "Mommy goes to work." Ask my kids what I do?

Caroline~write blogs, beat my sisters, put them down for naps
Amelia~work at the puter, watch TV, and eat around the clock
Greta~clean, play toys

OK, well, that's Mommy on Bedrest. Maybe I'll ask the question next year. So do you feel guilty when you ignore your kids to indulge in a hobby? Or just a mindless pasttime?

Friday Five From Memphis

Everyone else is out at the park so I'm here "resting" Kim ordered me to do the Friday Five so here's my Spring Break/Vacation special in honor of all our Memphis fun.

FIVE BEST ZOO ANIMALS
1. Panda bears~the really are more of a black and dirty white than you'd think.
2. Bald Eagles~they really give the eagle eye.
3. Monkeys~the girls loved watching them swing.
4. Black bears~we got to see them super close!
5. All the first graders who were on their zoo field trip.

FIVE BEST THINGS ABOUT ASIAN NAIL SALONS
1. You don't feel the need to make small talk because they really don't speak English.
2. They use those razors on your feet to get rid of the winter skin.
3. They have a zillion colors.
4. The shrine to Buddha in the corner.
5. The way they chat back and forth and make you paranoid that they are talking about you~like Elaine on SEINFELD.

FIVE BEST SISTERS
1. Kim
2. Kim
3. Kim
4. Kim
5. Caroline

FIVE BEST THINGS ABOUT THE SOUTH
1. All children are either dressed straight from a "COPS" episode or are wearing smocked dresses with matching Mary Janes and hairbows.
2. Everyone is really polite.
3. Chik-Fil-A
4. Humidity.
5. Backyard Burgers

Friday Five

FIVE BEST TV SHOWS
1. Little House on the Prairie
2. 24
3. St Elsewhere
4. Cheers
5. Roseanne (the early ones)

FIVE BEST WHITE SOX PLAYERS (NOW AND WAY BACK)
1. Ron Kittle
2. Paul Konerko
3. Carleton Fisk
4. Ozzie Guillen
5. Aaron Rowand (that's Caroline's vote)

FIVE BEST CHICAGO SPORTS MOMENTS
1. 2005 Sox World Series Win
2. Da Bulls~6 times
3. All of Devin Hester's TD punt returns
4. AJ Pierzynski taking 1st base on a ball 4 in the dirt during Game #2 ALCS
5. 85 Bears Superbowl Win

Who's On Bedrest?

Um. . .I thought I was the one who was supposed to be taking it easy? Evidently, Tim had a rough day of . . .? You fill in the blank.

Please Don't Call DCFS

So today was one the most interesting doctors appointments we've ever had. Last night Tim was playing with the girls in the backyard and was swinging them around. Not so much smart. By 10pm Amelia was hysterical about her arm. It didn't appear swollen or out-of-whack in any way so we just gave her Motrin and got her to sleep. By morning it was pretty obvious something was wrong. She was cradling her arm and not using it at all. Called good ole Dr Stroman who told us to come in. From there, the fun began.

We were sitting in the room and he walks in, looks at her chart, and asks us what the problem is. Told him "Daddy airplane rides." OK. What happened next we EXACTLY like the scene from "The Karate Kid" where Mr Myagi "fixes" Daniel-san's busted knee. Dr Stroman claps his hands, takes Amelia's arm, twists it around til she is screaming and on her knees. And then she's fine. He looks at us and chuckles, "Never seen an elbow AND wrist dislocated. That's pretty cool. No more airplane rides."

Friday Five

FIVE BEST BREAKFAST FOODS
1. Biscuits and gravy
2. Veggie omelet
3. English muffin
4. Corned beef hash (Though I feel as if I need a triple bypass afterward!)
5. Jeff's "Nasty eggs with toast"

FIVE MOST ANNOYING THINGS PEOPLE SAY TO PREGNANT WOMEN
(Disclaimer~~These bug me now b/c I'm pregnant. I have probably said all of them.)
1. WOW! You're huge!
2. Do you know what you're having?
3. Are you trying for a boy?
4. I was in labor for 8 days and tore all the way thru. My heart stopped and I had to be revived.
5. I did it without an edipural. If you just focus, you don't need one.

FIVE BEST SMELLS
1. Pink grapefruit.
2. Anything lemon.
3. Spaghetti sauce simmering.
4. Spring.
5. Burning leaves in the fall.

FIVE FAVORITE HYMNS
1. Great Is Thy Faithfulness
2. Blessed Assurance
3. It Is Well
4. Amazing Grace
5. By The Sea of Crystal

Take It Easy?

I had my 20 week ultrasound and check up yesterday. Good news, bad news, and in-between news.

Good News~Baby looks great. All organ systems present and working. No spina bifida, no water on the brain. No obvious signs of chromosomal errors.

In-between news~very modest baby. He/she has legs crossed at the knees and tucked under. He/she also was breech and facing inward so the tech could not tell the sex. I really didn't want to know but Tim and about 80% of everyone else does so I was kinda glad! :-) So for a while at least we are all still in suspense.

Bad news~I have had some bleeding off and on since the beginning of this pregnancy. Now I know why. I have a complete placenta previa. This is when the placenta forms at the bottom of the uterus instead of at the top and blocks the cervix. This results in 2 things for me.

1. For now, "partial bedrest". I am supposed to "take it easy" OK, how on earth is that possible?! I am trying, really. But it is so hard. There is so much to do. Tim is finally working again after the cold and snow of February. Everyone has been great about offering help but I suck at accepting it. I need to work on being gracious and saying "thanks" instead of "No, really. I'm OK." As Kim said, I am not resting so that my baby will have blond hair instead of brown. I'm resting to ensure the safety of the baby. Because the placenta is over the cervix it is easily irritated and could cause early labor. I have to have another U/S in a few weeks to see how things look.

2. IF the placenta does not migrate northward, I will need a C-section. That scares the heck out of me. As much as I hate pregnancy, I really don't mind the birth. All 3 girls had really good deliveries. As long as I get my epidural, I'm all good! :-) I watch enough Discovery Health Channel to know I do not want a seciton.

So for now, I ask you to pray for northward migration. My doctor said the chances of that are "remote" due to the placement of the placenta, but that's what we're hoping for. No complete bedrest and no c-section.

Thanks so much! :-)

Friday Five

Often my thoughts freeze between my brain and my finger for blog posts. I think of fantasic ideas at 3am but they never actually turn into posts. So here's an idea I saw on another blog. Simply for fun and because I really adore lists of any kind. Not necessarily in any order, just my opinion.

FRIDAY FIVES

Five Best Songs Ever~Excluding Hymns, P&W, and Country

1. Midnight Train to Georgia~Gladys Knight

2. Material Girl~Madonna

3. Sweet Caroline~Neil Diamond

4. Come Sail Away~Styx

5. Every Rose Has It's Thorn~Poison

Five Best Country Songs Ever

1. Anything But Mine~Kenny Chesney

2. Whoever's In New England~Reba McEntire

3. She and I~Alabama (Though it's hard to narrow that down!)

4. Whiskey Lullaby~Brad Paisley and Allison Krauss

5. I Don't Call Him Daddy~Doug Supernaw

Five Best Movies Ever (Ok, maybe this is more a Best 80's movies!)

1. Dead Poet's Society

2. Mr Mom

3. Boyz in the Hood

4. When Harry Met Sally

5. Say Anything

Five Best Restaurants

1. Wildfire

2. Chik-Fil-A

3. Quiznos

4. Ro-Sals

5. Gus's Fried Chicken

Meal Plan Monday. . .well Tuesday

I'm slow. I so meant to do this yesterday but I was busy. . .Celebrating Mr and Mrs Mommy Brain's Anniversary. . .working on Ebay. . .watching "24". . .um. . .

Monday . . . . . . . . .Grilled Cheese and Soup (GEMS at church)

Tuesday . . . . . . . .Chicken Stuffed Red Peppers (From Dinner's Done)

Wednesday . . . . . Egg and Sausage Casserole with Biscuits
(I have to make this for MOPS so I'm just going to do a duplicate.)

Thursday. . . . . . . Linguine with Clam Sauce and Garlic Bread (Also from Dinner's Done)

Friday. . . . . . . . . . Auction at Caroline's school
~babysitter for little girls~frozen pizza and broccoli
~Dad, Mom, and Caroline eat at school

Sat Out. . . . . . . . . Where or what I'm not sure but probably Quiznos as that I want Mama is craving!

Sunday. . . . . . . . . Cabernet Crock Pot Beef with noodles and beans (also from Dinner's Done)

I went to Dinner's Done on December 1 and made 13 meals. Soon after that morning sickness hit pretty hard and I haven't really cooked or felt like smelling up the kitchen since. This past week I am finally feeling able to get my "kitchen legs" under me again. These meals are the last of my pre-made stash. Money is always much tighter at this time of year for us so I will be cooking myself yet again! I have even started pulling recipes out of magazines again.

Baby Needs A New Pair of Shoes

This is what is happening in my kitchen right now. Yep, it's boys poker night. They are playing "no copper, no paper" so no one is betting away the mortgage money or anything so it's just guys having fun. I am listening in and they are FUNNY. They even wrote up a cheat sheet to figure out what hand is high. They think I'm in here working. . .hee hee. Nope. I just hope Tim wins b/c he's got 3 little girls who are clothes horses. :-)

Happy Birthday to Me

I am officially old. 35 today. I had a really nice day though! Last year, almost everyone forgot. Even Tim. So I have been milking this all week. :-) "Please clean the bathroom, dear. It'sm my birthday." ect, ect.

Things didn't start out great as at 4am Caroline climbed in bed with me because she heard thunder. GGRRR. . .But I had a half bag of Kettle Cooked Lays Potato Chips and Sweet Tea for breakfast and that made it all better! Christine came out and we went to get massages which for me was really more of a butt-rub as this sweet little baby of mine is sitting right on my tailbone and that HURTS! Then a lunch at the Olive Garden with Clark the Handsome Waiter. After Christine left to tend to her brood I chatted with Leslie the Wonder Sitter and watched this week's American Idol with her since she missed it and I have it Tivo'd. Tim and I went out for dinner with just Caroline which was fun since we usually are occupied with Smash and Crash. Caroline sometime has the curse of being ignored because she doesn't scream and throw things in public!

Got home just in time to tuck in the little ones and watch AI. Now, I gotta say, WHAT THE HECK?!?!?! We still have to listen to Sanjaya and Antonella?!? So not good. At least my 2 stayed put for another week. We love Phil and Gina over here. I want to start picking songs for them. Gina needs to do some Joan Jett~~I'm thinking "Bad Reputation" would be awesome. Tim loves Phil. Voted 57 times for the dude. If I didn't know better, I'd worry.

A Marriage Made In Heaven

Very hot crispy french fries and sausage gravy. Like the kind you put on biscuits for breakfast. It was so beautiful. I wept.